My friend Christy has asked me to describe how she can prepare herself for that great change from singleness to married woman. I have thought a lot about this, trying to think what wonderful words of advice I might have. After all, I have been married 21 years this month--I ought to know something, right?
Actually, I often think I am just learning. I look back on my marriage and see so much failure that could have been avoided had I prepared myself spiritually, mentally, emotionally, even physically instead of thinking that there would not be much difference between my life as a single person and my life as a married woman.
Lately I have been meditating on the woman described in Proverbs 31:10-31 in an attempt to make my life more like hers. So I thought I'd do a series on her.
Proverbs 31:10 -- "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies."
I want to focus on the word virtuous for this post. Literally, in the Hebrew, this means a woman of strength. The word translated virtuous in this verse as also been translated might, power, strength, valiant. It has been used in a military sense as army, great forces, host, company. So we are talking about one strong woman here.
I like what Matthew Henry has to say about this, so I am going to quote him here:
[She is]...a woman of strength..., though the weaker vessel, yet made strong by wisdom and grace, and the fear of God....A virtuous woman is a woman of spirit, who has the command of her own spirit and knows how to manage other people's, one that is pious and industrious, and a help meet for a man....A virtuous woman is a woman of resolution, who, having espoused good principles, is firm and steady to them, and will not be frightened with winds and clouds from any part of her duty....
The first thing a woman needs if she would be a godly wife, then, is strength of character. On a related note, we women are sometimes subject to mood swings. Biblically, those mood swings ought to be subject to us. This is part of having the command of our own spirits. You might find it helpful to read this post about mood swings.
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2 comments:
ouch ouch ouch! you just hit my soft spot. i am SUCH a moody person. okay, you can DEFINITELY be my prayer partner on this starting NOW! :D
The thing is, Christy, that our poor husbands have such a hard time with moody women. They start out wanting to comfort us, ask us what's wrong, want to fix whatever it is, did they do something to offend us, etc., etc., etc. The reality, of course, is that we really can't tell them what's wrong, since we often don't know ourselves.
So our husbands get a little frustrated. They want to "fix" us, but there's nothing they can really do. So they really would like it very much if we would just get over it.
It took me years to figure this out, but here's something to clue in on: We CAN get over it. We just would rather not, because it's bred into us that this is what is expected of women. And it takes work. Our Lord says that we can do ALL things THROUGH HIS STRENGTH.
A little extra prayer to fix our moods will go a LONG way toward making your marriage smoother. And when you get pregnant, be prepared to spend nine months in extra prayer. Trust me on this one, I should know! ;)
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