Remember Lot's Wife (and his daughters)

And while [Lot] lingered, the men laid hold upon his hand, and upon the hand of his wife, and upon the hand of his two daughters; the LORD being merciful unto him: and they brought him forth, and set him without the city. And it came to pass, when they had brought them forth abroad, that he said, Escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed. . . .Then the LORD rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven; and he overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground. But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt. . . .And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar: and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters. And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth: Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. And they made their father drink wine. . . .Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father (from Genesis 19}).

In studying the life of Lot, I found him to be spineless when it came to leading his family in the way of righteousness. Peter tells us that he "vexed his righteous soul" in seeing the wickedness of Sodom all day long, every day. Apparently, the sin of the city really bothered him. Some commentators I've read (Matthew Henry, John Gill) suggest that he sat in the gates of the city not as a ruler, but to look out for passing travelers who may need a place to stay for the night. They say that Lot did not want these travelers to fall into the hands of the Sodomites as they lodged in the streets all night, so he opened up his home to them. If this is true, it is another indication that he was bothered by the sin of the city and sought to do something good.

But Lot was spineless. He knew the laws of God from having lived with Abraham for many years, but his family learned to love the world. Instead of leading his family in righteousness, standing for what was right, he let them lead him further and further into the world.

This blog is for women, so let's leave Lot and focus on his wife. What I have just said about Lot is partly speculation, but I think we can still learn some lessons from this.

For the wives: Are we honouring the Lord with our lives, our desires, and the way we train and influence our children, especially our daughters? Do we leave all, take up our crosses and follow Christ? Or are we lingering on the plain gazing at the world and all its things, fame and pleasure? Are we helping our husbands build a godly home, or are we nagging at them to get closer and closer to the world? Are we training our daughters to love and submit to their future husbands by teaching them to love and submit to their fathers? Or are we training them to manipulate men to get what we want from them?

For the daughters: Most fathers have a soft spot in their hearts for their daughters. Daughters, especially youngest daughters, can wrap their dads around their little fingers. Daughters are usually born with a master's degree in manipulation and flattery which they use to get what they want from their dads (and later their husbands). So, daughters, what do you want from your dad? Do you want your dad to love and honour God? Do you want his help in being godly yourself? Do you crave his godly counsel in all areas of your life? Do you want him to be a man God would use in a mightly way?

Here is a message, a testimony, actually, from Duncan Campbell. He details how God worked in and through him all through his life. I encourage you to listen to this message, paying extra-careful attention to how God used his daughter to rebuke and encourage him during a time of spiritual declension in his life. It is a message that brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

From this link you can choose to either play the audio from your computer, or you can download to your mp3 player. This is an old tape, and sometimes hard to listen to both because of the quality and Mr. Campbell's Scottish accent. But it is well worth the effort.

Little by little, down the slippery slope

And Lot lifted up his eyes, and beheld all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered every where, before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, even as the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, as thou comest unto Zoar. Then Lot chose him all the plain of Jordan; and Lot journeyed east: and they separated themselves the one from the other. Abram dwelled in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelled in the cities of the plain, and pitched his tent toward Sodom (Genesis 3:10-12).

And they took Lot, Abram's brother's son, who dwelt in Sodom, and his goods, and departed (Genesis 14:12).

But before they lay down, the men of the city, even the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both old and young, all the people from every quarter: and they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them. And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door after him, and said, I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly (Genesis 19:4-7).

Lot's progression into the world:

1. He looked at the world ("lifted up his eyes").

2. He considered the world and its possibilities ("beheld").

3. He got as close to the world as he could without actually living in it ("pitched his tent toward Sodom").

4. He made the world his permanent home ("dwelt in Sodom").

5. He considered worldlings to be his family ("I pray you, brethren").

More about Lot next time.

How do we recognize worldliness for what it is?

For the past month or so, Tom has been preaching about worldliness during the Sunday morning service. Last Sunday as he preached, I thought of four verses that would help me recognize and deal with worldliness in my own soul. Each of the verses teaches the first half of "the chief end of man." (As a child, I was taught the catechism of the reformed Baptist Christian school I attended in the second grade. I still remember the first question: "What is the chief end of man?" and the answer: "The chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever.")

1 Corinthians 10:31: Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

Colossians 3:17: And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.

1 Peter 4:11: If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God; if any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth: that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.

Philippians 1:20: According to my earnest expectation and my hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but that with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life, or by death.

My thoughts along this line were that anything that glorifies Christ is holy. Anything that does not glorify Christ is worldly. If you cannot honestly say that this action, this habit, this clothing, this whatever, glorifies Christ, then that item is worldly.

The problem is that we are now so in tune to the world that we don't even recognize it. It has crept in subtly, unawares. Just like the proverbial frog who was slowly boiled to death, we've been cooked, and don't even realize it.

Some time ago I posted a review of a book I like very much. Here is a quote from that book, that defines the problem quite well:

The problem is that we have mimicked the world for so long--copying their fashions, borrowing their educational and social philosophies, conforming to their dating format, and adopting their dialect--that we do not even realize we have lost our Christian identity. We've been wearing the costume and speaking the language of the world for so long that we don't even recognize ourselves anymore.

So where to we go from here? How do we learn to recognize worldliness for what it is?

More later...

Now Playing in a Church Near You...

The ever popular theme "Worldliness in Sheep's Clothes" is taking our churches by storm. Some critics are saying that the theme is mis-named--it should be "Sheep in Worldly Clothes." Others say either name fits. Tune in next time to learn more. Meanwhile, tell us what YOU think! Cast your vote today.

Choice #1: "I looked for the World and found it in the Church."

Choice #2: "I looked for the Church and found her in the World."

Choice #3: Both 1 and 2.

Choice #4: Who cares?

Wise Mothers, Wise Daughters

I wrote this up as a mother/daughter hand out for my little girls' Sunday school class. I had it as a two-column spread so that the part for mothers and the part for daughters was side by side for comparison. But I can't do two columns on this blog. If you want to print this out, you could copy and paste onto your word processor and fix it up so that the verse runs across the page, at the top, like a title, and then have the mother/daughter part in two columns.

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands” (Proverbs 14:1).

A WISE mother builds her house by…

…keeping her house clean and tidy.

…being careful how she spends money.

…making sure everyone has the food and clothes they need.

…making sure everyone does their share of the work.

…honouring her husband and submitting to him

…encouraging her children to behave in a way that glorifies Christ—at home and in public.

…cultivating the fruit of the Spirit in her heart and in her children’s hearts.

…teaching her children to fear God and obey His commands.

A WISE daughter helps by…

…keeping her room, her work areas and her play spaces clean and tidy.

…not asking for things to be bought for her when she doesn’t really need them, and saving her own money for things she wants.

…helping to make meals, eating what she’s given without complaining, and keeping her clothes neat and clean.

…honouring and obeying her father

…doing her own work cheerfully, minding her own business, and helping others when she can.

…behaving in a way that glorifies Christ—at home, with her friends, and in public.

…cultivating the fruit of the Spirit in her own heart.

…fearing God and obeying His commands.

Questions

Will the Lord cast off for ever?
And will he be favourable no more?
Is his mercy clean gone for ever?
Doth his promise fail for evermore?
Hath God forgotten to be gracious?
Hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies?
--Psalm 77:7-9

These verses were part of my morning reading today. And in my thoughts I asked another question:

Where is the revival we have so longed for?

Answered prayer

Stephen and Rebekah Walker welcomed their new son Brandon into the world Monday! Rebekah's aunt tells me that Mother and Baby were scheduled to come home yesterday. Continue to pray in the next few weeks for Brandon's continued health and Rebekah's recovery.

A prayer request for the Walker family

If you visit any of the blogs I have listed in my sidebar, you will find one called Rebekah's Thots. Rebekah Walker is the daughter of our former pastor in Texas. She and her husband Steven are expecting their second son next week. I would encourage you to read through her blog to know her difficult journeys into motherhood, and to understand the urgency of this prayer request.

Rebekah is to be induced on Monday. Please pray for a safe delivery. Please also pray for peace of mind for their whole family. God is gracious.

The Maxson Family

I have never met Victor and Bethany Maxson, but Bethany's family attends a church we used to attend when we lived in Texas. I had her old blog on my sidebar, but now that she's married she has a new blog. I think it should be interesting to read about the lives of these young Christian newlyweds as they live and work and grow together. So far they have some lovely pictures of their honeymoon on South Padre Island.

You know, I think I'm getting old. Victor and Bethany look so young!!!!

Babies and children in the worship service

"And Ezra the priest brought the law before the congregation both of men and women, and all that could hear with understanding, upon the first day of the seventh month. And he read therein before the street that was before the water gate from the morning until midday, before the men and the women, and those that could understand; and the ears of all the people were attentive unto the book of the law" (Nehemiah 8:2-3).

Years ago, when Pastor David Dickerson preached a series from Nehemiah, he voiced the question, "At what age can children understand?" He then answered his own question thus: "A lot sooner than most people give them credit for."

But lest there be any misunderstanding, I found this verse:

"Blow the trumpet in Zion, sanctify a fast, call a solemn assembly: gather the people, sanctify the congregation, assemble the elders, gather the children, and those that suck the breasts: let the bridegroom go forth of his chamber, and the bride out of her closet" (Joel 2:15-16).

My friend Twinklemoose recently wrote a wonderful article on child training. I especially liked her analogy of painting trees. (See Psalm 1:3.) As sometimes happens, I found that my reply to her article was turning into an article of my own. You will have a better understanding of my post if you read hers first.

As I read through Twink's article, I suddenly thought, "Couldn't we arrange Baby's weekday schedule to be a little closer to the Lord's Day schedule?" After all, that would help teach Baby that the Lord's day is special, not tedious and trying. Then, just as suddenly, I was surprised to realize that I had already done that, completely without conscious effort.

I, too, once thought that NOTHING should interfere with Baby's schedule. I even had the support of a well-known missionary/author/conference speaker/radio host! She went so far as to suggest that Mother stay home with Baby while Father and Older Child(ren) went to services that went past Baby's bedtime.

I resented that I had to struggle with fussy children and that my pastor/husband wanted children trained to sit in the service at as young an age as possible instead of being in the nursery. I know others might feel the same resentment, so what happened in our house quite by accident might help them. Here's what happened:

We always struggled with keeping even primary-aged children (ages 6-8 or so) awake during morning and evening services. Then, for completely different reasons, I changed the children's nap and bed times to be about an hour later than before. It wasn't until I read Twink's article that I realized that this one minor change in the weekday schedule had made all the difference in the world with the Sunday schedule.

No longer do I regularly struggle to keep a child awake during services. If I sense that a child needs more sleep because of a rough night, I can easily make an exception and allow the child to sack out on the floor by my feet, covered with my sweater or the baby's blanket. (If the floor of your church isn't carpeted like ours is, and you can anticipate your child's probable need for a little nap, you might bring an extra small blanket to use as a pallet.)

We begin teaching our children to go through the motions very early. My son John is not tall enough to see over the top of the chair/pew in front of him, so we supplied a small stool for him to stand on. When we stand to sing or for the Scripture reading, he stands--on his stool, not on the chair/pew we sit on. My son Timothy is still too young for the stool, so when we stand, I hold him against me while he sits on the back of the chair/pew in front of me. When we sing, John likes to hold a hymnbook. I teach him to hold it still, and not play with it or make noise turning the pages. When we read from the Scripture, John likes to hold a Bible. I teach him to hold it still, just like the hymnbook. Sometimes he tires of holding it, so I have him set it on the chair next to him. Then he just sits quietly through the rest of the service. I don't give him toys to play with, books to look at, or paper to write on. I found that doing so made for more distraction when he dropped toys or wanted to show people his books or paper.

Timothy, at almost 13 months, is still in the process of learning to be still. I keep him in the service all through the singing portion of the service. He sits on my lap or on the chair/pew next to me. He doesn't play with toys, either, because he drops them purposely and wants them picked up so he can drop them again. He also does not sit on the floor because he will crawl away. If he's sleepy/fussy, I nurse him. No one at our church objects to me doing so in the service since I am discreet about this. If he is antsy to the point of wiggling and making happy noises, I will stand, holding him, in the back of the auditorium. My younger children and I sit in the back anyway, so I can still supervise the ones who are sitting down.

If things get to the point when I have to take Timothy out because he is too noisy, I take him to the room set aside as a nursery where I let him play a little while. I usually bring John out, too, and have him sit quietly in a chair. Here I will let John work a few simple puzzles or look at Bible story books. But because I still have him be quiet, I can continue to hear the sermon coming through on the speaker.

At home, during dinner time, we go around the table asking the children what they learned. They can choose whether to tell about Sunday school or the morning sermon. This provides interesting and profitable mealtime conversation that even the younger ones get involved in.

It helps when the pastor finds ways to include the children in his sermon. Every now and then, Tom will say that such-and-such is like what so-and-so learned in Sunday school recently. He will call the child's name and remind them of what they learned previously and how that relates to what he is preaching about now. And he knows a lot about what all the classes are learning because he requires the children to say something about their lessons before they can choose a hymn on Sunday nights. And my younger children enjoy being used as sermon illustrations. (My older children are not quite so enthusiastic about this!)

This has turned into a longer post than I anticipated, but I hope it helps someone.

One Sunday morning

You may have noticed that very little has been coming through from me to this blog. I had computer issues. A new hard drive was installed, my computer got a virus, things were reinstalled, some documents (actually a whole lot of documents) were lost in the process. Most importantly, I lost all the high school records I was keeping for my three oldest home schoolers. (Thankfully, I printed out most of those, so it's not a total loss of hours upon hours of work.)

Besides computer issues, we all got sick. Colds and the flu all at the same time. All eleven of us. Even Tom went down, which is unusual. One Sunday night service and one mid-week prayer meeting were canceled, youth group canceled at least once, one prayer meeting went on without Tom and two-thirds of our family, and nursing home services were either canceled or led by someone else. And there are still some sick. Today at least four of our children are staying home, but Tom says I'm going, regardless. I've missed too many Sundays, and I'm one of the Sunday school teachers! Tom (the current sub-teacher) has taught my class more than I have in the past two months.

On the upside, I am finally learning French!!!! Le chat est sous la voiture because the puppy keeps chasing it, and it goes there to hide. It took me awhile to remember the difference between sous la voiture and sur la voiture, although little paw prints on the windshield indicate that le chat est sur la voiture quite frequently. I think my favourite sentence so far is, La fille marche. That one reminds me of when I was a little girl. I was supposed to go to bed, I think, but I wasn't moving fast enough. My mother said, "Now march!" And, like a little soldier, I marched!

"This is the day which the LORD hath made: let us rejoice and be glad in it." Today is my birthday. J'ai quarante et un ans.

We found Larry!!!!!

Larry was sighted this week. He is happily (I guess) living out his days in the cellar, very much alive and well.

Just thought you'd like to know that.

Little children need CONSTANT supervision

{Woman's name withheld} "was outside smoking a cigarette while, unbeknownst to her, her two little boys were inside playing with a lighter in the basement."

So states the front page story in our local paper. The article goes on to say that the woman heard the smoke alarm go off and was able to get her sons out, but the house sustained $180,000 worth of damage.

From the Pastor's Desk: The Years of Our Lives

Someone has figured that in the average life span of 70 years, we will spend our time this way:

Eight years in amusements

Six years at the dinner table

Five years in transportation

Four years in conversation

Three years sick or convalescing

Less than one year for God--that is, IF a person attends ONE 90-minute service every Sunday and prays every day for ten minutes.

(Cathy's comment: Notice that there is no mention of evangelism at all--no teaching, no preaching, no witnessing to the neighbours, no passing out tracts. Also, there is no mention of any group prayer meeting at all. Is this what modern-day Christianity has come to? God help us! We need revival!)

"I, Isaac, take thee, Rebekah"

Back to the topic of matchmaking and courtship. . .

From Ravi Zacharias of Let My People Think, here is one of the best messages I have ever heard on this subject. I strongly urge all young people and all parents of young people to listen. After you listen, feel free to comment. Time forbids me to say more.

Part One

Part Two

"Until the earth passes away"

Today Elizabeth was telling me about her "bestest doll," her favourite, the one she wants to "keep forever and ever until the earth passes away."

That surprised me a bit. "'Until the earth passes away'?" I repeated.

"Yes," she said.

Later I told Sarah about this. She laughed, and related the following conversation she had with Elizabeth the other day.

Sarah: "Elizabeth, everything we have is just junk."

Elizabeth: "No, it isn't!"

Sarah: "Yes, it is. It's just junk, and it's going to burn up."

Elizabeth, dismayed and alarmed: "Why?"

Sarah: "Because it's junk. We didn't bring it in, and we're not going to take it out. It's just going to burn up."

Elizabeth thought about that for a minute, then asked, "But I can keep it until it burns, can't I?"

From the Pastor's desk--"That I may know him..."

That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death. Philippians 3:10

Tom has been preaching from this verse for the past month or so. Sunday he had this in the bulletin:

Four main aspects of the Christian life are,

1. Communion -- to know Him is to love Him

2. Conformity -- to know Him is to be like Him

3. Commitment -- to know Him is to live for Him

4. Consummation -- to know Him is to lose one's life for Him

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. If it is true that "all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution" (2 Timothy 3:12), then why aren't we suffering persecution?

Could it be that we are not living godly in Christ Jesus?

Finally back on line

The guts of my computer are still hanging out of it, but it has a new hardrive, and my resident computer tech (son Nate) is gradually getting everything back to normal for me. The only glitch right now is that for some unknown reason he can't install Windows. He put Linux on instead, which he likes better anyway. I really wouldn't care, except that the Internet web watch monitoring system we have won't detect Linux!

All my men are leaving this morning to go help friends knock down a wall in their house. This family just bought property about a half hour from here, and the house needs some work before they can move in. They helped us get our house ready when we bought this place, so it's nice that we can help them now.

Today I've got baking to do. Not too much, since other friends gave us a lot of day-old bakery bread (which they get free from someone else). We still have enough in the freezer to get us through most of the week. I've got sour dough working, which I'm going to try today. I made French bread with it last week, which turned out really good. I also need to make some granola and some cookies. I've been experimenting with using honey (instead of sugar) in cookie recipes. The oatmeal cookies I made a couple of weeks ago turned out delicious. Today I'm going to try peanut butter cookies. The key to using honey is to use half as much as what the recipe calls for, for sugar, and to add about a fourth cup more flour for about every cup of honey used.

I got an e-mail last week saying that my new wheat grinder is on its way! Finally I'll be able to start using that half ton of wheat we got last fall! That was another unexpected blessing. I happened to be talking to another homeschool mom about the crops they grow on their farm. She mentioned wheat, so I asked her where the common Joe (me) could buy wheat for home grinding. She said she would ask her husband if we could buy some of theirs. The next time we saw her, she had a sheet of paper on which she had worked out how much wheat we would need for a year, based on the size of our family, about how much bread we would use in a week, and how much wheat makes one cup of flour! She figured out to the bushel how much wheat we would need, and told us we could have it for $60!!! So Tom got ten large totes from Wal-Mart and Canadian Tire (Wal-Mart didn't have enough in stock). On the appointed day, he and the boys drove out to where they were loading the wheat for shipment and helped fill the totes with wheat right off the trucks. Tom asked who he should pay, and they said, "There's no charge." !!!!!!!

Never let it be said that pastors and their families are poor. We are NOT. What we may lack in ready cash is MORE than made up with the blessings of being part of the church body. "I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread" (Psalm 37:25). "The young lions do lack, and suffer humger: but they that seek the LORD shall not want any good thing" (Psalm 34:10).

By the way, we still haven't found Larry.

Introducing Marcel Longchamps

Marcel and Lucie Longchamps are two of my favourite people. Together with two university students, they minister the Word in Quebec City. Please do not take this to mean that Lucie preaches. She does NOT. However, she is a brave soul who goes out with the guys when they preach on the streets, helping to distribute hundreds of tracts and engaging in conversation with souls as they pass by.

Lucie tries SO hard to communicate with me in her limited English. I want SO bad to be able to talk to her better!! (We're ordering a French course for our whole family this month. I can't wait!!) I admire her for her courage, for her determination to do God's will, and for her sweet spirit. Recently she quit her job because God impressed upon her to be a keeper at home.

Marcel recently started his own blog, The Beauty of Holiness. I encourage you to take a look at it. Keep in mind that his first language is French, and overlook any errors you may find in his English. I'm adding this blog to my sidebar.

Just another day in the life of the Newton family

Sarah just came out to the dining room, where I am folding clothes.

"Mother," she says, "I'm afraid we have a slight dilemma."

"What is it?" I ask, preparing my mind for a flood, since, the last I heard, she was working with her fish tank.

"Larry has decided he doesn't like his aquarium. And you know what that means, don't you?"

Yes, I know exactly what that means. That means that on the loose somewhere in this house is. . .

. . .a pet garter snake.

Thoughts on matchmaking

And Rebekah arose, and her damsels, and they rode upon the camels, and followed the man: and the servant took Rebekah, and went his way. And Isaac came from the way of the well Lahairoi; for he dwelt in the south country. And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming. And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel. For she had said unto the servant, What man is this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant had said, It is my master: therefore she took a vail, and covered herself. And the servant told Isaac all things that he had done. And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death. --Genesis 24:61-67

1. Matchmaking is a biblical concept still practiced in that part of the world.

2. Parents should be involved in the process, and have veto rights. If Christian young people do not have Christian parents, older people in the church fellowship might take the role of "surrogate" parents, although the opinions of the non-Christian parents should still be taken into account.

3. Both persons being brought together by matchmaking have veto rights. (See the question put to Rebekah in Genesis 24:58.)

4. The most important aspect of the whole affair is prayer.

5. The process can (and maybe should) be swift and sure.

More expounding on this in future posts. Meanwhile, thoughts, any one?

October 1986 -- The List (Part Nine)

This is the key to this whole story, and I almost forgot to put it in!

If you have been following the story of my courtship and marriage, you may remember the list I compiled, mentioned in this post. This was a list of characteristics I wanted in a husband. I made the list the summer before Tom and I got together, put it away in a box, and eventually forgot about it.

Once Tom and I set the date for our marriage, I began to sort all my stuff, packing what I needed to ship to Georgia (where Tom had already gone to prepare a home for us), and packing what I didn't need to leave with my parents. As I was sorting through one box, I came across the list. I read through it and was absolutely astounded that God had given me every single characteristic I asked for, in Tom! Even the frivolous ones that my dad said shouldn't matter. I wish I had that list now. I have no idea what happened to it, but here are the ones I can remember (I think originally there were seven):

1. He must be a Christian.
2. He must be a Calvinistic Baptist.
3. He must be a pastor.
4. He must have brown, curly hair.
5. He must have blue eyes.

Now, a word about Number Three:

Tom really didn't know about being a pastor. He was a bit reluctant to seriously consider this as a career choice, so I was taking this by faith.

You may remember that God had made it plain to Tom that He wanted Tom to do a certain thing, and Tom said no. It was at this point that Tom says the lights went out and he was plunged into spiritual darkness until he said yes and obeyed the Lord. What was it God wanted Tom to do? I know you're curious, and since it has everything to do with this story, I'll tell you.

God wanted Tom to go to Georgia and attend what was then Mt. Pisgah Baptist Church. (It is now Peachtree Baptist Church.) They have a college and seminary there, and we planned for Tom to start classes there. By this time, Tom had no problem attending Mt. Pisgah, but he continued to wrestle with the idea of taking classes. Since he had run his own bookstore, he had read a lot, and was mostly self-taught in matters of theology. We began to realize that Tom had practically all the book learning he needed; what he lacked was practice, and experience with a biblically functioning local church.

In Georgia, we learned how a local church should function. (To this day we hold Peachtree Baptist up as an example of how a church should function, and recommend their college/seminary to every young person who asks our opinion--and to some who don't ;) .) We spent five years there, during which time Tom preached in the jails, in the nursing home, and in chapel services at the Christian day school. He also taught high school math and science in the school, and learned definitely that teaching math and science was NOT what he was to do. Sometimes he also taught the adult Sunday school class.

By the time we left Georgia, we had developed a burden for church planting, and were ready to head for Canada to work with Native Peoples. The Lord had a round-about way of getting us to Canada, however. First we went to Ohio to work with Tom's home church. That did not go well, so we moved to Texas. From there we were sent to New York state, where we tried to start a church. This door did not open up for us, though we tried to keep at it, praying all the while for God to give us direction. In answer, God used a can of beer in a Walmart parking lot to lead us to the church where we now are, in Canada. (We are not specifically working with Native Peoples, but there is a reservation nearby, for which we are praying.)

On September 3, 2000, Tom preached his first sermon as pastor of Calvary Baptist Church, thus fulfilling Number Three on my list.

"The LORD hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad" (Psalm 126:3).

Our mystery Christmas visitor strikes again

Every year since we've been in Canada, a mysterious somebody has left us a gift. The card is never signed except for some expressions of love and appreciation. There is always candy for the children (conveniently packaged so that Tom and I get some, too ;) ), and a generous collection of $20s.

This morning when I opened the door to let the cat out, there was the bag on the front porch. Same goodies, same handwriting on the card. May God bless the giver, who has learned that "it is better to give than to receive," and who probably doesn't even want our thanks. They have our thanks anyway.

I love to be an anonymous giver. It is really fun to give somebody something, without them knowing where it came from. If you've never done it yourself, I suggest you try it. It's a lot of fun for both parties, but I think the giver has the most fun.

Pictures of us, 20 years ago (Part Eight)

This is Tom and me in my grandma's apartment, probably sometime in July, 1986. My dad was candidating at a church nearby, and we went along for the ride. At that church there was a little girl named Abby, who called us "the twenty-year-old woman and the thirty-year-old man."


We were married Thanks- giving Day, 1986, at home. My parents were scheduled to move over Christmas that same year, so we were not able to have a church wedding. I didn't really care; a marriage is more important than a wedding, anyway.

Pictured with us are (left to right) my Grandma Rudisill (Dad's mom), my Grandma Caulk (Mom's mom), and Tom's mother, Marie. By coincidence they all wore blue dresses, which looked really nice.


I'd like to know who started this custom, and why! Here we bow to tradition, and feed each other cake. However, we did NOT smear it on each other, like my brother did at his wedding.

My mom made the cakes. We also had turkey casserole and cranberry salad, since it was Thanksgiving. I don't remember if we had pumpkin pie, but we did get a couple of pecan pies as a gift from a lady in my church.

Notice Tom's suit jacket. It's the same one he wore for his high school graduation pictures, 10 years before our wedding! I made my dress, and my mom made my veil.

Hopefully I'll have more pictures soon, along with a post about my thoughts on courtship, dating, and matchmaking. Stay tuned.

The beginning

Today is the start of one MAJOR project. Can't tell what it is yet, but will let you know all about it when it's done. I would have marked the calendar, but all the 2006 calendars are about to be thrown away. I will give you a hint: it has to do with clutter. No, I did NOT just now give it away. You will have to check back later to see what this is all about.

"Cleanliness is next to godliness" is NOT a quote from the Bible, but I wonder if you can find a verse that sort of means that, and in more ways than one.

Daddy, dip your finger in the water

I hesitated somewhat to post this, but decided to go ahead. This is a sad and sobering post. It is also a request for prayer.

Today my husband will bury another of his brothers. This brother died in his sins. Oh Lord! When will the plague of death be stayed for this family? How long before You turn from Your fierce anger and save members of Tom's family? O Lord, in wrath remember mercy! There are five brothers left, along with their families. Please pray that God will have mercy. Pray for Holy Spirit conviction of sin. Out of all Tom's large family, he is the only one who is saved. He has already lost his father, his only sister and another brother to the judgment of God. We believe his mother is with the Lord, and possibly his step-dad.

Tom's step-dad was raised in a Presbyterian home, with a godly mother who took him faithfully to church every Sunday. I don't know why or how, but he turned away from all that. Tom was about ten or so when Pop married Tom's mother. He was totally antagonistic toward anything to do with religion in any way. After Tom was converted, he refused to allow Tom to read the Bible to him, or to pray with him. Just before he died we think God had mercy and saved him. Tom read to him from the book of John and prayed with him as he lay on his deathbed, and for the first time he wanted to hear the Scriptures read. Later a Christian nurse told how she had talked with him about the Lord, and had prayed with him. She said he also prayed that God would save him. That is our hope.

However, Pop died without ever saying anything to his children about the Lord. The title for this post is a line from a song I once heard on the radio. The song tells the story of a man who is sleeping, and dreams that his child is calling for a drink of water. As he goes to give his child a drink, he realizes that his child is calling to him from the place of torment, asking his father to dip his finger in some water to cool his tongue. I first heard that song during the week that Pop lay dying of cancer. I couldn't help but think of all the knowledge this man had about the Lord and the way of salvation, that he deliberately withheld from his children.

Pray for Tom today, and in the weeks to come, but especially today, that he might be able to speak to his family of the hope that lies within him. Oh, that God would have mercy on this family!

August 1986 -- "We were like them that dream" (Part Seven)

The Announcement was made one night during the August conference at Maranatha. My dad stood on a chair in the fellowship hall after the service, raised his hands, and in a loud voice said, "May I have your attention please?"

Normally, when my dad says that, everyone gets quiet and waits for some important announcement. Then, when everyone's looking at him, my dad will say, "Thank you. I just love attention." And then he will get off the chair and go back to whatever he was doing before. You have to know my dad. He is never annoying or egotistical. Things like that usually only make him more lovable.

This time, though, he said, "Someone else wants your attention." He then looked at us, expecting Tom to explain. Tom was not really prepared for this, but he managed to make The Announcement. We got a lot of applause, congrats, hugs, well-wishes, that kind of thing. And a bit of ribbing and teasing, too.

Later, though, some people suggested to my mom that wasn't this a bit sudden? Didn't we need time to get to know each other better? My mom just quietly referred them to Isaac and Rebekah, who had never even seen each other until the day they married. Rebekah Walker's dad, Pat Horner, puts it this way:

Short thoughts on courtship and marriage...how long does "courtship" last?

Taken from the biblical account of Isaac and Rebekah--

1. Help her get off the camel.

2. Say I do.

3. Take her into the tent.

Is it the Lord's will for me to be with this person? If the answer is yes, then marry them already!!!

Our thoughts, exactly. Tom observed that we had a lifetime to "get to know each other." We knew enough to get married on; the rest would come later.

In the very first post of this series, I quoted Psalm 126. The first verse says, "When the LORD turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream." In a later post, I noted the spiritual depression Tom went through, which was a direct result of his saying NO to God. He says that when he said NO, all the lights went out. After he said YES, all the lights came back on, and the very first blessing God gave him was me (see Proverbs 18:22). After years of praying for a wife, God granted his request as Tom yielded to His will. God had turned the captivity back in Tom's life, opening up a whole new life of blessing.

For me, the "captivity" was singleness. A fellow college student had told me that before God would give me a husband, I would have to be willing to be single, perhaps for life. But I just couldn't accept that. I was definitely NOT willing to be single the rest of my life! I struggled a lot then with what God might require of me. I had to learn the truth of Psalm 37:4, "Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." I did not need to resign myself to a life of singleness in order to be "rewarded" with marriage. I only needed to have the Lord as my soul's delight. My primary focus had to be on Him, not on marriage. Once I stopped trying to "find someone" and learned to wait on God's timing, He gave me Tom.


to be continued. . .

July 1986 -- "You'd better take good care of her!" (Part Six)

For those of you who have been following this story, I apologize for taking so long to come back to it. My two oldest sons have taken over my computer. For you who are new, I suggest clicking "My courtship and marriage" on the sidebar to get the beginning of this story.

I came home from my aunt's house 100 per cent positive that my being with Tom was of the Lord, and I was ready to follow Tom's lead in how this "relationship" progressed. I put "relationship" in quotes partly because I don't really like that word (it implies more than friendship, but not necessarily long-term commitment). Also, words like "relationship" and "courtship" were not common buzzwords then. I didn't like calling Tom my "boyfriend" either, since that also did not suggest long-term commitment. So I just didn't bother with labels; instead, I concentrated on making sure I was ready for marriage, in case that's where this led (and I was pretty certain it would).

I started working at the camp, volunteering my time. I was able to be at all the camp services, and fellowship with people I'd known half my life. Since Tom was on vacation at the time, he came to stay at the camp, and we spent a lot of time together. It was at this time, I think, that I learned that Tom and I had played ping-pong the year before. I was shocked. I had absolutely no memory of it at all. They said I beat him soundly, and kept asking if Tom had gotten any practice since then, in order to beat me this year. Even Tom was teasing me about it! Apparently I was so adamantly opposed to the very idea of having anything to do with him that I completely blocked it out of my memory.

We became engaged one night during the second week of July, 1986. We were sitting on a bridge in the little village up from the camp, talking about this and that. Tom was silent for a few minutes, and I asked him what he was thinking. He said he was wondering if it was too premature to ask me to marry him! I told him I was willing, but he would have to ask my dad. We decided not to say anything to anyone until then. Meanwhile, we continued to get to know each other through conversation, studying Ephesians, and watching each other interact with others in different situations.

Tom and I met with my parents the next week, I think. The four of us sat together on the floor of my parents' large bedroom and talked things through. Tom had a lot of questions to answer, and we had details to work out. I think we talked for well over an hour. When we were finished, and had my parents' blessing, we went downstairs to tell my grandmother. She hugged us both, and with tears of happiness in her eyes, she wagged her finger at Tom and said,

"You'd better take good care of her!"


to be continued. . .

From the Pastor's Desk--"One-Legged Missionary"

From today's bulletin:

A one-legged school teacher from Scotland came to J. Hudson Taylor to offer himself for service in China.

"With only one leg, why do you think of going as a missionary?" asked Taylor.

"I do not see those with two legs going," replied George Scott.

He was accepted.


This afternoon I did some internet research about George Scott. I came up with this interesting fact: Mr. Scott's first Chinese evangelist was paralyzed.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

A must-see video

My brother-in-Christ, Rand, just put this video on his blog. Now I'm putting it on mine. If you are an average North American teenager, watch this video. If you are the parent of an average North American teenager, watch this video with your teen. It is almost an hour long, so make sure you have time to watch this, giving it the attention it deserves.

Paul Washer preaching at a youth conference in Alabama, in 2002.

From the Pastor's Desk--True Revival

from today's bulletin. . .

We hear much about revival these days, but the heart of revival is the Lordship of Christ. A mere emotional upheaval, a spurt of religious excitement, is not revival. When Christians become convicted of rebellion against the rule of Christ in their lives, confess their sins, renounce self, take the cross and let Jesus have the first and last word in everything, that is revival, by whatever name you call it.

-Selected

A crazy day

Another "Life at our house" post. This is a copy of what I wrote in an e-mail card to a few people today. It is short and terse because they would only let me have 500 characters. (Sometimes I feel like I actually have 500 characters living in this house! :) )


Cats belong outside. Cleaned up two dumps in my room. Kittens are outside. Sarah says they have worms. Josiah called the shelter. John went on a potty strike. Made my bed w/ clean sheets; John wet it. Timmy not happy. Laundry, laundry, laundry. [Insert name of a friend] called to say she has lice. Checked everyone's heads. All clean so far. Need to scrub floors. Never got school done today. My devotions this morning: This is the day which the LORD hath made: let us be glad and rejoice in it. Psalm 118:25


Previously, Sarah had adopted a stray pregnant cat. BIG time mistake. After blessing us with four kittens, she and they infested us with fleas. Then the kittens proved they had worms. Josiah did research and found that fleas are worm carriers, perpetuating their life cycle. The whole cat family was taken to the shelter; mama last week and kittens today. Practically the girls' whole bedroom was infested, and had to be thoroughly cleaned and fumigated. All the bedding, all Sarah's clothes (she found out the kittens had slept in her dresser drawers), all had to be washed and dried in the dryer to be sure the eggs were killed. I lost count of how many times we gave the kittens flea baths. And they would NOT use the litter box! We put them in; they ate the litter. Then made messes all over the house.

I had a sinking feeling when we found out about the lice. AND a feeling of HUGE relief to find we didn't have any!!!! I have had enough extra laundry for a while. Tomorrow we are going to scrub all the floors. All this is why the first thing I did when we got this house was to rip out all the carpet.

All the children have gone to bed. I am going to sit and crochet in peace so my mind can relax before I go to bed myself.

Really, I can laugh about this. A little. Maybe a chuckle or two. A sense of humor, after all, is mandatory at this house.

Smiles,

Cathy

June 1986 -- First date and its aftermath (Part Five)

I was eating supper with my parents one Wednesday evening when the phone rang. Somehow I knew who it was, and thought it would be better if I answered it. I really can't remember much of the conversation (which lasted maybe ten minutes), but I distinctly remember the exchange between my parents:

Dad: "Who's she talking to?"

Mom: "I think it's Tom."

Dad: "What's he calling her for?"

What Mom's answer was, I can't remember. Tom asked me out for that Friday night, and we agreed not to tell Mr. Bill what we were doing, just to get back for all his pestering! That Friday we went to Dairy Queen. I got an Oreo blizzard, and he got a raspberry shake. I found out later that he's not really all that wild about ice cream, but we were pretty limited on restaurant choices since we didn't want a full meal.

Two things stand out in my memory:

1. I wanted to verify his age and tell him mine without actually coming right out and saying, "I'm 20. How old are you?" By this time I didn't care, but I wondered if he would.

2. While waiting in line for our order, I saw a woman who was part of the faculty at my high school. She said hi and glanced significantly at Tom. I said hi, but did not introduce Tom. I felt this was rather rude of me, but I didn't know what to say about him. He wasn't exactly my boyfriend, but if I said, "This is my friend, Tom," she would probably assume he was my boyfriend. So I just didn't say anything.

That night, I went to bed thinking, "I just went out with the man who will be my husband."

The next morning I listened to a tape with a song called, "Except the Lord build the house." Suddenly I wasn't so sure, and thought I had better make sure this thing was of the Lord. My mom had planned to have Tom over with Mr. Bill's family, for Sunday dinner. I really didn't know what to do or how to act. I started feeling pressured, and needed time and space to think.

My brother and his wife-to-be were in for a visit, so that took some of the attention off me. In church that morning, I managed to avoid Tom by surrounding myself with all my "little sisters"--a small group of young girls in our church who looked to me as sort of a mentor. I sat with them during the service, and spent extra time talking with them afterward.

At home it was harder. I decided the best course of action was to make myself undesirable and unavailable. I changed into an old pair of jeans, an old plaid shirt, and went barefoot. When our guests arrived, I took the kids down to the creek that ran through the woods behind our house. I was trying to get away from Tom, but he followed us! I was a bit irritated by this, and refused to speak to him for the rest of the afternoon.

After our guests left, my brother says to me, "Well, I guess that's over," referring to my "friendship" with Tom. That wasn't what I had in mind! I suddenly saw how rude I had been, so I asked my parents if I could call him, and arrange to talk to him before the evening service.

Later, I found out that Tom had taken the hint, and decided not to push it with me. He thought I didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore, and was quite a bit disappointed and hurt. So when I called him, I unconsciously gave him back his hope, and he agreed to talk.

We went for a walk, and talked things over. I apologized for giving him the cold shoulder, explaining that I felt pressured into something I wasn't ready for, and felt things were happening too fast. He replied that there would be no pressure, that he just wanted to get to know me as friends. At that, my heart sort of sank, and I realized that I wanted to be more than friends.

Oh, how fickle we females can be! I didn't want to even consider him at first. Then I liked him, and wondered if he would like me. Then I "knew" he was the man for me, for life. Then I didn't want to be anywhere near him. Then I only wanted to be friends, but when he said friends was fine, I suddenly wanted more! I was all mixed up, and didn't know what to do, or say, or think. So it was with a sense of relief that I went away for a week to visit my aunt's family.


to be continued. . .

June 1986 -- The conspiracy (Part Four)

Despite Tom's longing for a wife, he wasn't seriously looking for one. He'd been turned down too many times and just didn't want to risk it anymore. A lot of people looking on resented Mr. Bill's intrusion on our private lives. They said it wasn't his business, but I believe the hand of God was in this. Neither one of us would have done a thing to get this romance going without Mr. Bill nudging us along. So the conspiracy began.

Mr. Bill began talking to Tom about my virtues, but Tom was a bit hesitant. He knew I was much younger, and really didn't think I'd go for him. On that work day at the camp, he was looking me over in a wistful, I'll-never-get-her sort of way, and I was looking him over in a wistful, he'll-never-be-interested-in-me sort of way. Mr. Bill and his wife were looking at us both and plotting ways to get us together. Here are some of the ways they did that:

**They took me to see Tom's bookstore in Ohio. I got the grand tour, including the basement apartment Tom used to live in, and the upstairs apartment where he lived at that time. Mr. Bill's wife remarked that she had never seen the apartment so clean before. I thought the place was terribly dusty, and that the man needed a wife. Tom watched me work a little puzzle he'd been working on for months--one of those puzzles where you have to arrange small objects that are enclosed in a clear plastic box, by moving the box around to slide the objects into place. I solved it in a matter of minutes, put the thing down, and moved on. He was stunned.

**They took me to Tom's church, where he was to teach the adult Sunday school class for one Sunday morning. But first, they took us both to the store to buy Tom's first tie. He'd always worn jeans and flannel shirts to church before, but they told him he'd need a dress shirt and tie to teach the class. He didn't have one, so Mr. Bill's wife and I picked one out for him. After church that day, we went to dinner at the pastor's house. I was sitting out on the porch talking to the pastor's two kids when Tom came out and sat down on the other side of the door from me. In a few minutes, both kids sort of disappeared, leaving Tom and me alone. I am convinced their parents somehow had a part in this, since they were just as eager as Mr. Bill and his wife to see us get together. We found out later that while we were awkwardly trying to make conversation, the four of them were inside discussing us.

**They took us to dinner at a steak house restaurant. They also arranged the seating so that Tom and I sat next to each other. When Tom shook the steak sauce bottle before using it, the lid flew off and he shook steak sauce all over me! Poor Tom was badly embarrassed, but I just laughed it off. Of course, Mr. Bill and his family thought it was hilarious.

Through these and other similar outings, Mr. Bill helped us get to know each other. But he couldn't keep nudging us forever! So he says to me, "If Tom asked you out, would you go with him?" I answered that I would, but that Tom would have to do the asking. I was not going to initiate things myself. So then the following phone conversation took place between Mr. Bill and Tom:

"Why don't you ask Cathy out?"

"I don't think she'd go with me."

"I think she would. Just ask her."

"Oh, I don't know."

"You're going to have to ask her yourself, though. She's an old-fashioned kind of girl, and isn't going to ask you herself."

"Well, maybe I will. I'll think about it."

"Do you have her phone number?"

"Probably. I'll see."

"Here it is. Write it down."

So Tom wrote it down. But it took him a few days to get his courage up.


to be continued. . .

May, 1986 (Part Three)

I realize that this is a holiday weekend in the States, so if you haven't been here since Wednesday, you'll want to scroll down a bit to get to the beginning of this story. Or click on "My courtship and marriage" in the sidebar.

In May, 1986, some major things were settled in my life. First, God convicted me about not being baptized. My pastor in Indiana (where I was attending college) was willing to do this, but I knew I needed to take care of this in my home church. You can read about that in my testimony.

The second major thing is more relevant to this story: God finally gave me the peace and assurance that I was to quit college. I had been waiting for this for a long time. He made it clear to me that I was to go home, live with my parents, and wait till He brought to me the man He wanted me to marry. I could almost feel a weight being lifted off my shoulders as I packed my bags and went home. Such a relief! Now to break the news to my dad.

Actually, my dad took it well. (My mom often says that if I tell him something, he listens. I guess that's one of the benefits of being the baby in the family. ;) ) He really didn't have a big problem with my staying home and working with them in the ministry. He was seriously considering moving and taking the pastorate of another church, and was glad that I was willing to go along.

Word got out that I was not going back to college, and one morning I had visitors. Remember those friends Tom would visit, the ones who were caretakers of the camp? Well there they were. And they didn't waste time with small talk. They were a couple on a mission. As I poured water for them to drink, Mr. Bill started in:

"We heard you were quitting college."

"Yes," I answered.

"We want to know why. People are saying things, but we thought we'd get it straight from you."

Well, I appreciated that. Nothing beats gossip like going to the source. I told them that God wanted me to stay home and wait till He brought me the man He wanted me to marry.

"Well, we've got one for you."

Right away I knew who they were talking about--Tom. I smiled, shook my head, and said, "No, thanks. I don't think so."

Mr. Bill wasn't ready to give up yet. He said, "We're having a workday at the camp this Saturday. Tom will be there. Why don't you come and just look him over, and see what happens?"

Great, I thought. I had already planned to be there. Now the day would be ruined by these two people trying to set something up for us. I just knew they'd be watching us. ARRGGG!

The day came, and I managed to stay far enough away from the men so that I didn't even see Tom. Until lunch time. Mr. Bill's wife sent me out to tell the men lunch was ready. I walked into the area where they were working, and the first person I saw was Tom. Our eyes met as I told them lunch was ready. Then I tried to go back to being my normal self, but it was too late. Something had changed, and nothing would ever be the same. I was looking at a completely different Tom Newton than the one I had seen the year before.

He had grown a beard, he had a pleasant face, and I noticed his eyes were blue. I was hooked.

to be continued. . .

Name change

After several months of deliberation, I have decided to come out from hiding behind a screen name. From henceforth and forevermore, I will now be known in the blogworld as I am in the real world by my real name: Cathy.

"Pearl" came from my middle name, Margaret, which means "pearl." I chose to use an alias when I first started blogging because at that time I only knew two people who blogged, and that's what they did. I thought that's what all bloggers did. As time went on, however, I found that more of the bloggers that I knew used their real names. So I've decided that's what I'll do, also. I feel more honest that way, especially since I have been using my husband's and children's real names. I hate to have everyone think that Pastor Tom Newton of Calvary Baptist Church in Ontario is married to someone named "Pearl" when my real name is Cathy!

Signed,
Cathy

Summer, 1985 (Part Two)

I had just come home for the summer, after my first full year of college. I had learned by sad, sorry experience that there are guys who just want to use you, who don't know what "commitment" means, who just want a good time, and who dump you for no other reason than that they are done with you and want to move on. I was through "looking." I had never heard of the courtship ideals that are currently sweeping through today's youth culture, but I knew there had to be a better way.

I never really wanted to go to college. All the focus of my childhood dreams and aspirations centered on my longing to be a stay-at-home wife and mother. Those desires only intensified during my college years. I was in training for a career in teaching, when all I really wanted was to be the mistress of my own home, serving God along side a man whose one desire would be to serve God in full-time ministry. During my first three semesters of college, I tried--and was burned by--the dating scene. I decided that college, for me, was no place to find a husband. Granted, many good marriages have had their beginnings in some college or university, but that wasn't the way mine was going to start.

So one Sunday afternoon, there I sat on the floor of my bedroom, making a list of all the characteristics I was looking for in a husband. When I was finished, I put the spiral-bound steno pad away in a box and went for a walk. To this day I think I could tell you which hill I was climbing as I prayed, "Lord, I'm through looking for a husband. You bring to me the one You want me to have."

I continued to walk and pray until I reached the grounds of Camp Maranatha, the church camp in western Pennsylvania where I had spent all my summers from the time I was eleven years old, either as a camper or a kitchen worker. I loved that place! It was seven miles from my house, but I walked or rode my bike there often. On this particular Sunday afternoon, I walked into the caretakers' house to visit. The family living there were members of our church. They were from Ohio, and had a friend from Ohio visiting with them that afternoon. I walked into their living room, and the first person I saw was this friend of their's, named Tom Newton. Immediately, my first thought was, "No, Lord. Not him."

Tom Newton grew up in Ohio, in what he calls a totally pagan home. (I've told him he can't call it that anymore, since paganism today refers to a form of neo-witchcraft.) His was a family that not only knew not God, but were totally antagonistic toward even the idea of ever knowing God. The Newton name was well known in that area -- the whole lot of them were blasphemous drunkards and proud of it. Tom's chief goal in life was to be a rock star, so off he went to the WonderWorld of Los Angeles with dreams of making it big. He and his best friend aspired to be none other than the next Black Sabbath, with all their fame, fortune, and immorality.

You can read Tom's testimony here. God put a stop to all that, saved Tom out of all that muck and mire, set his feet upon the Rock of Christ, and established his goings. Now he was back in Ohio, co-owner of a Christian book store called "The Old-Time Gospel Bookstore," single, and longing for a wife. But there was something wrong here. God called upon him to do a certain thing which he determined never to do. Like Jonah of old, he turned from God and went in the opposite direction. He departed from the faith and wrote himself off as an infidel who had committed the unpardonable sin. Plunged into deep spiritual depression, he went through life hopelessly, wanting to die, yet being afraid to die.

You can't live that way very long without it showing on your countenance. Tom did not look good at all. This is what I somehow sensed when I saw him on my friends' couch that Sunday afternoon, and this is why I wanted nothing to do with him. Besides, he was too old--29, and I was 19.

So when I said, "No, Lord. Not him," I think He said, "Just you wait. I'm not finished with him yet. You go away for another year, and leave him to Me." Of course, God didn't say that out loud. I don't think I would have listened if He had. There were too many other fish in the sea.

Anyway, I went back to college that fall, and Tom went back to whatever. But he kept coming back to his friends' house, and attending my church, where my dad was the pastor. I was plodding impatiently along in college in Tennessee and later Indiana while my mom had Tom and his friends over for Sunday dinners. While I was struggling with pretending to be a good student when all I wanted was to get away from schooling altogether, my dad was patiently working with Tom, slowly bringing him out of his depression, never dreaming that he was counseling the man who would one day be the father of nine of his grandchildren.

More in the next post.

Cathy

20 years (Part One of My courtship and marriage)

Psalm 126

A Song of degrees.

When the LORD turned again the captivity of Zion,

we were like them that dream.

Then was our mouth filled with laughter,

and our tongue with singing:

then said they among the heathen,

The LORD hath done great things for them.

The LORD hath done great things for us;

whereof we are glad.

Turn again our captivity, O LORD,

as the streams in the south.

They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.

He that goeth forth and weepeth,

bearing precious seed,

shall doubtless come again with rejoicing,

bringing his sheaves with him.

Today is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. It is also my wedding anniversary. Tom and I were married on Thanksgiving Day, 1986. Since then we have completely ignored the actually date (which was November 27) and celebrated our anniversary on Thanksgiving Day. It is truly a day to give thanks to God for his unspeakable grace in our lives.

The Psalm above was read at our wedding. The week we were engaged, Pastor David Dickerson preached from this psalm at Maranatha, a Christian camp in western Pennsylvania where Tom and I met. Since then that Psalm has meant a lot to us. I'll explain why in the next post, when I tell you about events leading up to our courtship.

I'll also try to have some pictures from twenty years ago, as soon as I can find the box the photo albums are packed in. I had the children looking for it yesterday, but no one could find it. I was going to look for it myself today, but Tom just informed me that I am to pack my overnight bags; we are leaving as soon as he gets the van ready. I have no idea where we are going.

Pearl

More blog changes

I am still playing around with betablogger. I have applied labels to all my posts, so that now you can read them by category. I hope this is helpful. The list of categories is on the sidebar.

Pearl

Oh, be careful, little mouth, what you say

". . .not false accusers. . ." (Titus 2:3).

One of the earliest Sunday school songs I can remember from my childhood has a verse that goes like this:

Oh, be careful, little mouth, what you say,
Oh, be careful, little mouth, what you say,
For the Father up above
Is looking down in love,
So be careful, little mouth, what you say.

(Other verses talk about what our ears hear, what our minds think, what our hands do, what our eyes see, where our feet go, and what our hearts love.)

Later, when we children were older and talked on the phone a lot, my mother posted these questions next to the phone:

Is it kind?
Is it true?
Is it necessary?

The phrase "false accusers" in Titus 2:3 comes from the Greek word diabolos, the name given to Satan. In fact, almost every time this word is used in the Greek New Testament, it is translated devil. Only three times is this word used to describe humans. Ladies, you're not going to like this, but two out of three times, this word is used to describe female humans. The third time is found in 2 Timothy 3:3 in a list that generally describes the human race during the "perilous times" of the "last days." Look that up some time and study it out. It is a sobering passage.

Right now let's look at the two times diabolos is used to describe women--or rather, what godly women should not be.

Titus 2:3, the verse that lists the characteristics of godly older women, says that we are not to be false accusers.

1 Timothy 3:11, the verse that lists the characteristics of deacons' wives, says that they are not to be slanderers.

False accusers, slanderers. Or as one pastor put it, "full of the devil." Why such strong terminology? Have you ever been in a church where the women gossiped? I have. It is not a pretty sight. I wonder if any sin of the church, especially among the ladies, grieves the Holy Spirit more. And guess when Christian women gossip the most? When sharing prayer requests. It generally goes like this:

"Pray for so-and-so. Did you know she. . .?"

"*Gasp* No! When did that happen?"

"Well, remember when. . .?"

And on it goes. Or they gossip when they're praying. If you listen carefully, you can tell the difference between when someone is really praying and when they are actually informing the listeners of a particular turn of events.

So how do we gain the victory over this sin? I just read the most triumphant passage. Here it is, with the literal meanings of certain Greek words in brackets:

And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels, and prevailed not; neither was their place found any more in heaven. And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent [artfully malicious person], called the Devil [false accuser], and Satan [the accuser], which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him. And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser [complainant at law] of our brethren is cast down, which accused [brought charges against] them before our God day and night. And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
(Revelation 12:7-11).

Does that not just bring a thrill to your soul? I read that, and I just wanted to shout! I mean, here's this battle going on in heaven. It starts out as a court case with Satan bringing charges against us day and night. He just never stops accusing us of this, that, and the other thing. Finally it all comes to a head and a war breaks out. But Satan and all his demons cannot prevail. Michael and his angels win, and the Enemy is cast out, and I can just imagine all heaven bursting out with cheers of "GLORY TO GOD!!!!" The pandemonium when the home team wins the World Series would not even come close. You would have to magnify that by about a billion times.

So how'd they do it? What were their weapons? What was their tactic?

1. By the blood of the Lamb. When we lived in the South, an oft-repeated phrase in prayer was "I plead the blood of Christ." You know in your heart that what Satan is accusing you of just might be true. You DID commit that sin. You KNOW you're guilty. BUT it's under the blood. "The blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin" (1 John 1:7). So when Satan accuses us before the Father, He says there's no sin there. All He sees is the blood of His Son.

2. By the word of their testimony. Because the Lamb shed His blood for us, we are worshippers of Him. He helps us to remain faithful to Him, thus making Satan's accusations meaningless. "Yes, I did commit that sin. But Christ shed His blood for me, and now I'm following Him, and Him alone."

3. And they loved not their lives unto the death. They loved the praise of God more than their own lives, more than the glory of man. Read John 12:43, Matthew 10:32-39, and Mark 8:34-37.

So how does this apply to overcoming gossip?

1. Plead the blood. Ask Christ to cleanse you of the sin of gossip. Remember the work that He did for you on the cross. Would you trample that work and grieve the Lover of your soul by continuing in this sin? Further, if you are continuing in this sin, might that not be a sign that He has not saved you? Read 1 John 2:4-6.

2. Abide in Christ. The word Christian means "follower of Christ." Has Christ led you to gossip or to love? Read John 13:34-35; Proverbs 10:12; and 1 Peter 4:8.

3. Apply the J-O-Y rule: Put Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last.

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself (Matthew 22:37-39).

Pearl

Changes and additions

I upgraded to beta blogger, and am having fun with this new, easier way of doing things. The picture for my profile will probably change now and then. I couldn't find where my son Josiah put my picture on my computer. I'm hoping to put it there eventually, and also have some of my children now and then. Currently I have a huge cherry tree there. Yes, cherry tree. The kind they make furniture with. One of my sons took that picture when we went on a hike in the Gateneau mountains in Quebec.

The first addition is a young girl named Christy. She has a blog called Long Journey, which has made good reading so far. She reminds me of Esther Ellis, and is another encouragement to me.

The second addition is a young girl named Bethany. She must have moved to Texas sometime after we left, because I did not have the pleasure of meeting her family. Nevertheless, I have enjoyed reading her blog and getting to know her that way. Her blog is called Psalm 37-4.

I have been praying that God will raise up godly young people who will sell out to Him and seek to change their world by obeying Him and letting their light so shine (Matthew 5:16). These two girls are trying to do just that. I hope you will join me in praying for them and other young people you know. This world seems to get darker and darker. They are not going to have it easy in the years to come. May God give them grace to go boldly forth in the power of His might.

Pearl

For my friend who is struggling

Here is a song that has helped me many times.

Until That Final Day

My flesh is tired of seeking God,
But on my knees I'll stay.
I want to be a pleasing child,
Until that final day.

My mind is full of many thoughts
That clutter and confuse.
But standing firm, I will prevail,
In faith that I'll be used.

Amen! I'm asking once again.
Won't you help me my friend, Lord Jesus.
Holy Lord Spirit, set us free,
From chains we cannot see,
Come release us.

I wrestle not with flesh and blood,
My fight is with the one,
Who lost the keys of hell and death,
To God's most precious son.

One sleepless night of anguished prayer,
I triumphed over sin.
One battle in the Holy war,
God's promised me to win.

Amen! I'm asking once again.
Won't you help me my friend, Lord Jesus.
Holy Lord Spirit, set us free,
From chains we cannot see,
Come release us.

My flesh is tired of seeking God,
But on my knees I'll stay.
I want to be a pleasing child,
Until that final day.

--Keith Green

Troubling times

I don't usually use this blog to comment on specific news items that reflect the state of affairs in our world today. I generally leave that to my brother-in-Christ, Rand. Somehow it seems to me more of a "man" thing to do. However, this time I am going to say something, and apply it to how we as godly women need to be ever watchful. First, a couple of passages to keep in mind:

"This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, . . .having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth" (2 Timothy 3:1, 2, 5-7 It was hard to know where to jump in here. You would do well to read this passage in its context; in fact, you would do even better to study the entire book of 2 Timothy.).

"And the brethren immediately sent away Paul and Silas by night unto Berea: who coming thither went into the synagogue of the Jews. These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so. Therefore many of them believed; also of honourable women which were Greeks, and of men, not a few" (Acts 17:10-12 This is probably one of my most favourite passages.).

In the first passage, "silly women" refers to foolish women who are under the burden of sin, but lack the spiritual maturity to deal with it properly. Their consciences are bothered, and, as one commentator puts it, "a bad conscience leads easily to shipwreck of faith" because they more readily follow anyone who makes them feel better.

However, the second passage clearly states that we MUST examine the Scriptures to make sure that we are being told the truth. As women, "weaker vessels" (1 Peter 3:7), we are prone to fall prey more easily to seducing spirits. Remember that Eve was deceived--and that Satan knew full well what he was doing in choosing to coming to Eve, not Adam.

I can't stress enough the importance of women being students of the Word of God. We MUST study the Word diligently, daily, lest we be deceived.

Not long ago, I began an exchange of words on a popular forum. This exchange did not last long, as I soon realized that I was dealing with highly opinionated people who delighted in expounding their views purely for the enjoyment they got from arguing. However, in the process of this exchange, I uncovered a disturbing state of affairs.

The discussion revolved around the role of women in the church--should they teach, or not? If they teach, what should they teach, and to whom? And should they use the Bible when they teach? Is there a place for women's Bible study? If so, who should teach it?

Here is what I found disturbing: several women adamantly opposed women's Bible studies of any kind. They asserted that if women did get together for this purpose, the study should be taught by the men of the church, preferably the pastor, as women have no business teaching the Word, even to other women. They said that older women should teach younger women practical homemaking skills such as sewing and child care. My response was to go to Titus 2:3-5 and show that this passage is mostly about teaching right attitudes, not skills, and that Pastor Titus was exhorted to have the older women teach this, not to teach it himself. I asked, "How can we teach holiness and proper heart attitudes without going to the Scriptures?" In response, I was challenged to "try it and find out."

These are the kind of women who would be easily seduced into believing all sorts of false doctrine. And the pastors who insist on teaching the women's Bible studies are just the sort of men who would do the seducing.

This whole post is the result of my doing a little bit of research into the background of Dr. Leith Anderson, who was chosen to temporarily replace Ted Haggard as interim president of the NAE. That research led me to this and this, which is just the insidious sort of evil that would appeal to silly women, but which Dr. Anderson endorses, and this and this, which expose it for the New Age practice that it is.

Sisters, beware! These are signs of the times. The church is apostasizing before our very eyes. You that are reading this in the United States, be very wary of "Christian" conservatives who have a political agenda. Don't be fooled by their lies.

Pearl

This gets personal

Pride. It crops up everywhere, sneaking up on me, taking me by surprise. Just when I think I have a handle on things, here comes pride to knock me flat.

There came a point in time this summer when I determined to pray and fast for a particular purpose. Fasting is supposed to be a secret thing, and, to some extent, so is prayer. As a nursing mother, I can't fast completely, so I decided to fast all foods containing any sort of refined sugar or yeast. That meant no breads or sweet stuffs. I didn't make a big announcement about this, except that my family knew about it. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, I just wanted to be able to fast in some way.

When you go off sugar, however, something happens to you physically. You lose weight, for one thing. You also begin to feel better, you get healthier, you have more energy, and you even have some improvement in your attitude and overall outlook on life. This last benefit is especially enhanced by increased time spent in prayer. None of this physical stuff goes unnoticed, which kind of brings your fast out into the open.

People noticed that I had lost weight, and that I looked better. You can't lose 30 pounds or so in 3 months and keep that a secret! I hadn't counted on that. And there was no red flag anywhere warning me that this was a test of my humility. All I knew was that I was suddenly wide awake at 4:30 every morning, able to pray and read my Bible, and I was enjoying getting closer to God. I was getting consistent with it, too. It wasn't hit-and-miss any more, some days praying, some days not. This was an every day thing that I hadn't really been able to achieve before.

But gradually there came a change in my thinking. Instead of looking at, say, a brownie, and thinking, "No, I'm fasting to pray for [insert reason]," I would look at the brownie and think, "No, I'm really excited about this weight loss thing that I've never been able to accomplish before. And, oh, yeah. There is that business of praying for [insert original reason]."

I also had grandiose dreams of God moving in revival in response to my prayer and fasting. I mean, we read about these people who prayed all night, fasted regularly, etc., and then God moved in revival. Why couldn't I be one of those spiritual prayer warriors that people would read about 100 years from now?

Why didn't I think of 1 Corinthians 10:12 then?

It wasn't long before I recognized the pride creeping in. Then it was like I was caught in a trap. I figured I'd better stop drawing attention to myself, so I didn't tell anyone what was happening. Well, then, how do I ask for help? Because I really didn't know how to handle this. It was hard to even pray about it. The fast had become a mockery, and I eventually gave it up. I casually mentioned to people that I wasn't abstaining from sugar anymore, but was just taking it in moderation. Hah! If you were the proverbial fly on the wall in my house, you'd know almost right away that the sin of gluttony afflicts me.

Before long I wasn't praying anymore. It was just too hard to get out of bed in the morning. Oh, I wanted to pray, it was just too hard. Then I didn't want to pray. But yet I did want to pray! You know how it is, ". . .the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would" (Galatians 5:17). In this sort of battle, you know who wins? The one you listen to most. I was listening to the flesh.

We know a pastor in Texas who has his sermons on Sermon Audio. Last Sunday I was home sick, and decided to listen to some of his sermons. Later I e-mailed him. He e-mailed back, saying he was glad to hear from me, that he'd been thinking about us, and wondered how we were doing. You see, my husband has had this passion for revival for a long time. Every where we've lived, other people have seen this passion and been affected by it in some way. This pastor in Texas is one of those people. He says that he thinks God is beginning to work in their midst down there, and wonders if it is the beginning of a true revival from God. And, like others, when he thought of revival, he thought of my husband. So he asked what God was doing here in our little part of Canada.

I began to e-mail him back, telling some of what's been going on here. I soon began to weep. I suddenly remembered what this summer had been all about. How could I have given it up so easily? How could I have grieved my Lord this way? Oh, the grace that was shed upon Peter! Oh, the same grace that has been shed upon me!

"And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: but I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not. . ." (Luke 22:31-32).

"Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Matthew 26:41).

"He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. . ." (John 21:17).

"It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness" (Lamentations 3:22-23).

Why am I sharing all this with you? For a couple of reasons.

First, there are people I care about deeply who read this blog--family members, friends who live far away, people in our mission works in Ottawa and Quebec City. I wanted all you guys to know what the Lord has been doing in my life, and to ask you to keep praying for me.

The second reason is that I am really tired of being put on a pedestal just because I have nine children who are all homeschooled. I am flesh and blood. I fail many more times than I would ever want to admit. Stop being awed by me. Be awed by God.

Pearl

The insidious nature of pride

Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it (1 Corinthians 10:12-13).

The word insidious comes from a Latin word insidiae which means "ambush." The idea is that a certain thing is gradually and subtilly harmful. It sneaks up on you and takes you by surprise. Thus pride is addressed in 1 Corinthians 10:12. You think you're doing okay? You think you're standing firm? Look out! You're just about to fall. The book of Proverbs has a lot to say about pride:

"When pride cometh, then cometh shame; but with the lowly is wisdom" (11:12).

"Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall" (16:18).

"A man's pride shall bring him low; but he that is of a lowly spirit shall obtain honor" (29:23).

But 1 Corinthians 10:13 reminds us that there is a way of escape, if only we will avail ourselves of it. Again, the verses in Proverbs tell us what that escape is--a lowly spirit. Here are some other verses:

". . .he giveth grace to the lowly" (Proverbs 3:34).

"But he giveth more grace. Wherefore the scripture saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace to the humble" (James 4:6).

". . .God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace to the humble. Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time" (1 Peter 5:5-6).

More on this in the next post.

Pearl