Introducing Marcel Longchamps

Marcel and Lucie Longchamps are two of my favourite people. Together with two university students, they minister the Word in Quebec City. Please do not take this to mean that Lucie preaches. She does NOT. However, she is a brave soul who goes out with the guys when they preach on the streets, helping to distribute hundreds of tracts and engaging in conversation with souls as they pass by.

Lucie tries SO hard to communicate with me in her limited English. I want SO bad to be able to talk to her better!! (We're ordering a French course for our whole family this month. I can't wait!!) I admire her for her courage, for her determination to do God's will, and for her sweet spirit. Recently she quit her job because God impressed upon her to be a keeper at home.

Marcel recently started his own blog, The Beauty of Holiness. I encourage you to take a look at it. Keep in mind that his first language is French, and overlook any errors you may find in his English. I'm adding this blog to my sidebar.

Just another day in the life of the Newton family

Sarah just came out to the dining room, where I am folding clothes.

"Mother," she says, "I'm afraid we have a slight dilemma."

"What is it?" I ask, preparing my mind for a flood, since, the last I heard, she was working with her fish tank.

"Larry has decided he doesn't like his aquarium. And you know what that means, don't you?"

Yes, I know exactly what that means. That means that on the loose somewhere in this house is. . .

. . .a pet garter snake.

Thoughts on matchmaking

And Rebekah arose, and her damsels, and they rode upon the camels, and followed the man: and the servant took Rebekah, and went his way. And Isaac came from the way of the well Lahairoi; for he dwelt in the south country. And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming. And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel. For she had said unto the servant, What man is this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant had said, It is my master: therefore she took a vail, and covered herself. And the servant told Isaac all things that he had done. And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death. --Genesis 24:61-67

1. Matchmaking is a biblical concept still practiced in that part of the world.

2. Parents should be involved in the process, and have veto rights. If Christian young people do not have Christian parents, older people in the church fellowship might take the role of "surrogate" parents, although the opinions of the non-Christian parents should still be taken into account.

3. Both persons being brought together by matchmaking have veto rights. (See the question put to Rebekah in Genesis 24:58.)

4. The most important aspect of the whole affair is prayer.

5. The process can (and maybe should) be swift and sure.

More expounding on this in future posts. Meanwhile, thoughts, any one?

October 1986 -- The List (Part Nine)

This is the key to this whole story, and I almost forgot to put it in!

If you have been following the story of my courtship and marriage, you may remember the list I compiled, mentioned in this post. This was a list of characteristics I wanted in a husband. I made the list the summer before Tom and I got together, put it away in a box, and eventually forgot about it.

Once Tom and I set the date for our marriage, I began to sort all my stuff, packing what I needed to ship to Georgia (where Tom had already gone to prepare a home for us), and packing what I didn't need to leave with my parents. As I was sorting through one box, I came across the list. I read through it and was absolutely astounded that God had given me every single characteristic I asked for, in Tom! Even the frivolous ones that my dad said shouldn't matter. I wish I had that list now. I have no idea what happened to it, but here are the ones I can remember (I think originally there were seven):

1. He must be a Christian.
2. He must be a Calvinistic Baptist.
3. He must be a pastor.
4. He must have brown, curly hair.
5. He must have blue eyes.

Now, a word about Number Three:

Tom really didn't know about being a pastor. He was a bit reluctant to seriously consider this as a career choice, so I was taking this by faith.

You may remember that God had made it plain to Tom that He wanted Tom to do a certain thing, and Tom said no. It was at this point that Tom says the lights went out and he was plunged into spiritual darkness until he said yes and obeyed the Lord. What was it God wanted Tom to do? I know you're curious, and since it has everything to do with this story, I'll tell you.

God wanted Tom to go to Georgia and attend what was then Mt. Pisgah Baptist Church. (It is now Peachtree Baptist Church.) They have a college and seminary there, and we planned for Tom to start classes there. By this time, Tom had no problem attending Mt. Pisgah, but he continued to wrestle with the idea of taking classes. Since he had run his own bookstore, he had read a lot, and was mostly self-taught in matters of theology. We began to realize that Tom had practically all the book learning he needed; what he lacked was practice, and experience with a biblically functioning local church.

In Georgia, we learned how a local church should function. (To this day we hold Peachtree Baptist up as an example of how a church should function, and recommend their college/seminary to every young person who asks our opinion--and to some who don't ;) .) We spent five years there, during which time Tom preached in the jails, in the nursing home, and in chapel services at the Christian day school. He also taught high school math and science in the school, and learned definitely that teaching math and science was NOT what he was to do. Sometimes he also taught the adult Sunday school class.

By the time we left Georgia, we had developed a burden for church planting, and were ready to head for Canada to work with Native Peoples. The Lord had a round-about way of getting us to Canada, however. First we went to Ohio to work with Tom's home church. That did not go well, so we moved to Texas. From there we were sent to New York state, where we tried to start a church. This door did not open up for us, though we tried to keep at it, praying all the while for God to give us direction. In answer, God used a can of beer in a Walmart parking lot to lead us to the church where we now are, in Canada. (We are not specifically working with Native Peoples, but there is a reservation nearby, for which we are praying.)

On September 3, 2000, Tom preached his first sermon as pastor of Calvary Baptist Church, thus fulfilling Number Three on my list.

"The LORD hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad" (Psalm 126:3).

Our mystery Christmas visitor strikes again

Every year since we've been in Canada, a mysterious somebody has left us a gift. The card is never signed except for some expressions of love and appreciation. There is always candy for the children (conveniently packaged so that Tom and I get some, too ;) ), and a generous collection of $20s.

This morning when I opened the door to let the cat out, there was the bag on the front porch. Same goodies, same handwriting on the card. May God bless the giver, who has learned that "it is better to give than to receive," and who probably doesn't even want our thanks. They have our thanks anyway.

I love to be an anonymous giver. It is really fun to give somebody something, without them knowing where it came from. If you've never done it yourself, I suggest you try it. It's a lot of fun for both parties, but I think the giver has the most fun.

Pictures of us, 20 years ago (Part Eight)

This is Tom and me in my grandma's apartment, probably sometime in July, 1986. My dad was candidating at a church nearby, and we went along for the ride. At that church there was a little girl named Abby, who called us "the twenty-year-old woman and the thirty-year-old man."


We were married Thanks- giving Day, 1986, at home. My parents were scheduled to move over Christmas that same year, so we were not able to have a church wedding. I didn't really care; a marriage is more important than a wedding, anyway.

Pictured with us are (left to right) my Grandma Rudisill (Dad's mom), my Grandma Caulk (Mom's mom), and Tom's mother, Marie. By coincidence they all wore blue dresses, which looked really nice.


I'd like to know who started this custom, and why! Here we bow to tradition, and feed each other cake. However, we did NOT smear it on each other, like my brother did at his wedding.

My mom made the cakes. We also had turkey casserole and cranberry salad, since it was Thanksgiving. I don't remember if we had pumpkin pie, but we did get a couple of pecan pies as a gift from a lady in my church.

Notice Tom's suit jacket. It's the same one he wore for his high school graduation pictures, 10 years before our wedding! I made my dress, and my mom made my veil.

Hopefully I'll have more pictures soon, along with a post about my thoughts on courtship, dating, and matchmaking. Stay tuned.

The beginning

Today is the start of one MAJOR project. Can't tell what it is yet, but will let you know all about it when it's done. I would have marked the calendar, but all the 2006 calendars are about to be thrown away. I will give you a hint: it has to do with clutter. No, I did NOT just now give it away. You will have to check back later to see what this is all about.

"Cleanliness is next to godliness" is NOT a quote from the Bible, but I wonder if you can find a verse that sort of means that, and in more ways than one.

Daddy, dip your finger in the water

I hesitated somewhat to post this, but decided to go ahead. This is a sad and sobering post. It is also a request for prayer.

Today my husband will bury another of his brothers. This brother died in his sins. Oh Lord! When will the plague of death be stayed for this family? How long before You turn from Your fierce anger and save members of Tom's family? O Lord, in wrath remember mercy! There are five brothers left, along with their families. Please pray that God will have mercy. Pray for Holy Spirit conviction of sin. Out of all Tom's large family, he is the only one who is saved. He has already lost his father, his only sister and another brother to the judgment of God. We believe his mother is with the Lord, and possibly his step-dad.

Tom's step-dad was raised in a Presbyterian home, with a godly mother who took him faithfully to church every Sunday. I don't know why or how, but he turned away from all that. Tom was about ten or so when Pop married Tom's mother. He was totally antagonistic toward anything to do with religion in any way. After Tom was converted, he refused to allow Tom to read the Bible to him, or to pray with him. Just before he died we think God had mercy and saved him. Tom read to him from the book of John and prayed with him as he lay on his deathbed, and for the first time he wanted to hear the Scriptures read. Later a Christian nurse told how she had talked with him about the Lord, and had prayed with him. She said he also prayed that God would save him. That is our hope.

However, Pop died without ever saying anything to his children about the Lord. The title for this post is a line from a song I once heard on the radio. The song tells the story of a man who is sleeping, and dreams that his child is calling for a drink of water. As he goes to give his child a drink, he realizes that his child is calling to him from the place of torment, asking his father to dip his finger in some water to cool his tongue. I first heard that song during the week that Pop lay dying of cancer. I couldn't help but think of all the knowledge this man had about the Lord and the way of salvation, that he deliberately withheld from his children.

Pray for Tom today, and in the weeks to come, but especially today, that he might be able to speak to his family of the hope that lies within him. Oh, that God would have mercy on this family!

August 1986 -- "We were like them that dream" (Part Seven)

The Announcement was made one night during the August conference at Maranatha. My dad stood on a chair in the fellowship hall after the service, raised his hands, and in a loud voice said, "May I have your attention please?"

Normally, when my dad says that, everyone gets quiet and waits for some important announcement. Then, when everyone's looking at him, my dad will say, "Thank you. I just love attention." And then he will get off the chair and go back to whatever he was doing before. You have to know my dad. He is never annoying or egotistical. Things like that usually only make him more lovable.

This time, though, he said, "Someone else wants your attention." He then looked at us, expecting Tom to explain. Tom was not really prepared for this, but he managed to make The Announcement. We got a lot of applause, congrats, hugs, well-wishes, that kind of thing. And a bit of ribbing and teasing, too.

Later, though, some people suggested to my mom that wasn't this a bit sudden? Didn't we need time to get to know each other better? My mom just quietly referred them to Isaac and Rebekah, who had never even seen each other until the day they married. Rebekah Walker's dad, Pat Horner, puts it this way:

Short thoughts on courtship and marriage...how long does "courtship" last?

Taken from the biblical account of Isaac and Rebekah--

1. Help her get off the camel.

2. Say I do.

3. Take her into the tent.

Is it the Lord's will for me to be with this person? If the answer is yes, then marry them already!!!

Our thoughts, exactly. Tom observed that we had a lifetime to "get to know each other." We knew enough to get married on; the rest would come later.

In the very first post of this series, I quoted Psalm 126. The first verse says, "When the LORD turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream." In a later post, I noted the spiritual depression Tom went through, which was a direct result of his saying NO to God. He says that when he said NO, all the lights went out. After he said YES, all the lights came back on, and the very first blessing God gave him was me (see Proverbs 18:22). After years of praying for a wife, God granted his request as Tom yielded to His will. God had turned the captivity back in Tom's life, opening up a whole new life of blessing.

For me, the "captivity" was singleness. A fellow college student had told me that before God would give me a husband, I would have to be willing to be single, perhaps for life. But I just couldn't accept that. I was definitely NOT willing to be single the rest of my life! I struggled a lot then with what God might require of me. I had to learn the truth of Psalm 37:4, "Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." I did not need to resign myself to a life of singleness in order to be "rewarded" with marriage. I only needed to have the Lord as my soul's delight. My primary focus had to be on Him, not on marriage. Once I stopped trying to "find someone" and learned to wait on God's timing, He gave me Tom.


to be continued. . .

July 1986 -- "You'd better take good care of her!" (Part Six)

For those of you who have been following this story, I apologize for taking so long to come back to it. My two oldest sons have taken over my computer. For you who are new, I suggest clicking "My courtship and marriage" on the sidebar to get the beginning of this story.

I came home from my aunt's house 100 per cent positive that my being with Tom was of the Lord, and I was ready to follow Tom's lead in how this "relationship" progressed. I put "relationship" in quotes partly because I don't really like that word (it implies more than friendship, but not necessarily long-term commitment). Also, words like "relationship" and "courtship" were not common buzzwords then. I didn't like calling Tom my "boyfriend" either, since that also did not suggest long-term commitment. So I just didn't bother with labels; instead, I concentrated on making sure I was ready for marriage, in case that's where this led (and I was pretty certain it would).

I started working at the camp, volunteering my time. I was able to be at all the camp services, and fellowship with people I'd known half my life. Since Tom was on vacation at the time, he came to stay at the camp, and we spent a lot of time together. It was at this time, I think, that I learned that Tom and I had played ping-pong the year before. I was shocked. I had absolutely no memory of it at all. They said I beat him soundly, and kept asking if Tom had gotten any practice since then, in order to beat me this year. Even Tom was teasing me about it! Apparently I was so adamantly opposed to the very idea of having anything to do with him that I completely blocked it out of my memory.

We became engaged one night during the second week of July, 1986. We were sitting on a bridge in the little village up from the camp, talking about this and that. Tom was silent for a few minutes, and I asked him what he was thinking. He said he was wondering if it was too premature to ask me to marry him! I told him I was willing, but he would have to ask my dad. We decided not to say anything to anyone until then. Meanwhile, we continued to get to know each other through conversation, studying Ephesians, and watching each other interact with others in different situations.

Tom and I met with my parents the next week, I think. The four of us sat together on the floor of my parents' large bedroom and talked things through. Tom had a lot of questions to answer, and we had details to work out. I think we talked for well over an hour. When we were finished, and had my parents' blessing, we went downstairs to tell my grandmother. She hugged us both, and with tears of happiness in her eyes, she wagged her finger at Tom and said,

"You'd better take good care of her!"


to be continued. . .

From the Pastor's Desk--"One-Legged Missionary"

From today's bulletin:

A one-legged school teacher from Scotland came to J. Hudson Taylor to offer himself for service in China.

"With only one leg, why do you think of going as a missionary?" asked Taylor.

"I do not see those with two legs going," replied George Scott.

He was accepted.


This afternoon I did some internet research about George Scott. I came up with this interesting fact: Mr. Scott's first Chinese evangelist was paralyzed.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

A must-see video

My brother-in-Christ, Rand, just put this video on his blog. Now I'm putting it on mine. If you are an average North American teenager, watch this video. If you are the parent of an average North American teenager, watch this video with your teen. It is almost an hour long, so make sure you have time to watch this, giving it the attention it deserves.

Paul Washer preaching at a youth conference in Alabama, in 2002.

From the Pastor's Desk--True Revival

from today's bulletin. . .

We hear much about revival these days, but the heart of revival is the Lordship of Christ. A mere emotional upheaval, a spurt of religious excitement, is not revival. When Christians become convicted of rebellion against the rule of Christ in their lives, confess their sins, renounce self, take the cross and let Jesus have the first and last word in everything, that is revival, by whatever name you call it.

-Selected

A crazy day

Another "Life at our house" post. This is a copy of what I wrote in an e-mail card to a few people today. It is short and terse because they would only let me have 500 characters. (Sometimes I feel like I actually have 500 characters living in this house! :) )


Cats belong outside. Cleaned up two dumps in my room. Kittens are outside. Sarah says they have worms. Josiah called the shelter. John went on a potty strike. Made my bed w/ clean sheets; John wet it. Timmy not happy. Laundry, laundry, laundry. [Insert name of a friend] called to say she has lice. Checked everyone's heads. All clean so far. Need to scrub floors. Never got school done today. My devotions this morning: This is the day which the LORD hath made: let us be glad and rejoice in it. Psalm 118:25


Previously, Sarah had adopted a stray pregnant cat. BIG time mistake. After blessing us with four kittens, she and they infested us with fleas. Then the kittens proved they had worms. Josiah did research and found that fleas are worm carriers, perpetuating their life cycle. The whole cat family was taken to the shelter; mama last week and kittens today. Practically the girls' whole bedroom was infested, and had to be thoroughly cleaned and fumigated. All the bedding, all Sarah's clothes (she found out the kittens had slept in her dresser drawers), all had to be washed and dried in the dryer to be sure the eggs were killed. I lost count of how many times we gave the kittens flea baths. And they would NOT use the litter box! We put them in; they ate the litter. Then made messes all over the house.

I had a sinking feeling when we found out about the lice. AND a feeling of HUGE relief to find we didn't have any!!!! I have had enough extra laundry for a while. Tomorrow we are going to scrub all the floors. All this is why the first thing I did when we got this house was to rip out all the carpet.

All the children have gone to bed. I am going to sit and crochet in peace so my mind can relax before I go to bed myself.

Really, I can laugh about this. A little. Maybe a chuckle or two. A sense of humor, after all, is mandatory at this house.

Smiles,

Cathy

June 1986 -- First date and its aftermath (Part Five)

I was eating supper with my parents one Wednesday evening when the phone rang. Somehow I knew who it was, and thought it would be better if I answered it. I really can't remember much of the conversation (which lasted maybe ten minutes), but I distinctly remember the exchange between my parents:

Dad: "Who's she talking to?"

Mom: "I think it's Tom."

Dad: "What's he calling her for?"

What Mom's answer was, I can't remember. Tom asked me out for that Friday night, and we agreed not to tell Mr. Bill what we were doing, just to get back for all his pestering! That Friday we went to Dairy Queen. I got an Oreo blizzard, and he got a raspberry shake. I found out later that he's not really all that wild about ice cream, but we were pretty limited on restaurant choices since we didn't want a full meal.

Two things stand out in my memory:

1. I wanted to verify his age and tell him mine without actually coming right out and saying, "I'm 20. How old are you?" By this time I didn't care, but I wondered if he would.

2. While waiting in line for our order, I saw a woman who was part of the faculty at my high school. She said hi and glanced significantly at Tom. I said hi, but did not introduce Tom. I felt this was rather rude of me, but I didn't know what to say about him. He wasn't exactly my boyfriend, but if I said, "This is my friend, Tom," she would probably assume he was my boyfriend. So I just didn't say anything.

That night, I went to bed thinking, "I just went out with the man who will be my husband."

The next morning I listened to a tape with a song called, "Except the Lord build the house." Suddenly I wasn't so sure, and thought I had better make sure this thing was of the Lord. My mom had planned to have Tom over with Mr. Bill's family, for Sunday dinner. I really didn't know what to do or how to act. I started feeling pressured, and needed time and space to think.

My brother and his wife-to-be were in for a visit, so that took some of the attention off me. In church that morning, I managed to avoid Tom by surrounding myself with all my "little sisters"--a small group of young girls in our church who looked to me as sort of a mentor. I sat with them during the service, and spent extra time talking with them afterward.

At home it was harder. I decided the best course of action was to make myself undesirable and unavailable. I changed into an old pair of jeans, an old plaid shirt, and went barefoot. When our guests arrived, I took the kids down to the creek that ran through the woods behind our house. I was trying to get away from Tom, but he followed us! I was a bit irritated by this, and refused to speak to him for the rest of the afternoon.

After our guests left, my brother says to me, "Well, I guess that's over," referring to my "friendship" with Tom. That wasn't what I had in mind! I suddenly saw how rude I had been, so I asked my parents if I could call him, and arrange to talk to him before the evening service.

Later, I found out that Tom had taken the hint, and decided not to push it with me. He thought I didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore, and was quite a bit disappointed and hurt. So when I called him, I unconsciously gave him back his hope, and he agreed to talk.

We went for a walk, and talked things over. I apologized for giving him the cold shoulder, explaining that I felt pressured into something I wasn't ready for, and felt things were happening too fast. He replied that there would be no pressure, that he just wanted to get to know me as friends. At that, my heart sort of sank, and I realized that I wanted to be more than friends.

Oh, how fickle we females can be! I didn't want to even consider him at first. Then I liked him, and wondered if he would like me. Then I "knew" he was the man for me, for life. Then I didn't want to be anywhere near him. Then I only wanted to be friends, but when he said friends was fine, I suddenly wanted more! I was all mixed up, and didn't know what to do, or say, or think. So it was with a sense of relief that I went away for a week to visit my aunt's family.


to be continued. . .

June 1986 -- The conspiracy (Part Four)

Despite Tom's longing for a wife, he wasn't seriously looking for one. He'd been turned down too many times and just didn't want to risk it anymore. A lot of people looking on resented Mr. Bill's intrusion on our private lives. They said it wasn't his business, but I believe the hand of God was in this. Neither one of us would have done a thing to get this romance going without Mr. Bill nudging us along. So the conspiracy began.

Mr. Bill began talking to Tom about my virtues, but Tom was a bit hesitant. He knew I was much younger, and really didn't think I'd go for him. On that work day at the camp, he was looking me over in a wistful, I'll-never-get-her sort of way, and I was looking him over in a wistful, he'll-never-be-interested-in-me sort of way. Mr. Bill and his wife were looking at us both and plotting ways to get us together. Here are some of the ways they did that:

**They took me to see Tom's bookstore in Ohio. I got the grand tour, including the basement apartment Tom used to live in, and the upstairs apartment where he lived at that time. Mr. Bill's wife remarked that she had never seen the apartment so clean before. I thought the place was terribly dusty, and that the man needed a wife. Tom watched me work a little puzzle he'd been working on for months--one of those puzzles where you have to arrange small objects that are enclosed in a clear plastic box, by moving the box around to slide the objects into place. I solved it in a matter of minutes, put the thing down, and moved on. He was stunned.

**They took me to Tom's church, where he was to teach the adult Sunday school class for one Sunday morning. But first, they took us both to the store to buy Tom's first tie. He'd always worn jeans and flannel shirts to church before, but they told him he'd need a dress shirt and tie to teach the class. He didn't have one, so Mr. Bill's wife and I picked one out for him. After church that day, we went to dinner at the pastor's house. I was sitting out on the porch talking to the pastor's two kids when Tom came out and sat down on the other side of the door from me. In a few minutes, both kids sort of disappeared, leaving Tom and me alone. I am convinced their parents somehow had a part in this, since they were just as eager as Mr. Bill and his wife to see us get together. We found out later that while we were awkwardly trying to make conversation, the four of them were inside discussing us.

**They took us to dinner at a steak house restaurant. They also arranged the seating so that Tom and I sat next to each other. When Tom shook the steak sauce bottle before using it, the lid flew off and he shook steak sauce all over me! Poor Tom was badly embarrassed, but I just laughed it off. Of course, Mr. Bill and his family thought it was hilarious.

Through these and other similar outings, Mr. Bill helped us get to know each other. But he couldn't keep nudging us forever! So he says to me, "If Tom asked you out, would you go with him?" I answered that I would, but that Tom would have to do the asking. I was not going to initiate things myself. So then the following phone conversation took place between Mr. Bill and Tom:

"Why don't you ask Cathy out?"

"I don't think she'd go with me."

"I think she would. Just ask her."

"Oh, I don't know."

"You're going to have to ask her yourself, though. She's an old-fashioned kind of girl, and isn't going to ask you herself."

"Well, maybe I will. I'll think about it."

"Do you have her phone number?"

"Probably. I'll see."

"Here it is. Write it down."

So Tom wrote it down. But it took him a few days to get his courage up.


to be continued. . .

May, 1986 (Part Three)

I realize that this is a holiday weekend in the States, so if you haven't been here since Wednesday, you'll want to scroll down a bit to get to the beginning of this story. Or click on "My courtship and marriage" in the sidebar.

In May, 1986, some major things were settled in my life. First, God convicted me about not being baptized. My pastor in Indiana (where I was attending college) was willing to do this, but I knew I needed to take care of this in my home church. You can read about that in my testimony.

The second major thing is more relevant to this story: God finally gave me the peace and assurance that I was to quit college. I had been waiting for this for a long time. He made it clear to me that I was to go home, live with my parents, and wait till He brought to me the man He wanted me to marry. I could almost feel a weight being lifted off my shoulders as I packed my bags and went home. Such a relief! Now to break the news to my dad.

Actually, my dad took it well. (My mom often says that if I tell him something, he listens. I guess that's one of the benefits of being the baby in the family. ;) ) He really didn't have a big problem with my staying home and working with them in the ministry. He was seriously considering moving and taking the pastorate of another church, and was glad that I was willing to go along.

Word got out that I was not going back to college, and one morning I had visitors. Remember those friends Tom would visit, the ones who were caretakers of the camp? Well there they were. And they didn't waste time with small talk. They were a couple on a mission. As I poured water for them to drink, Mr. Bill started in:

"We heard you were quitting college."

"Yes," I answered.

"We want to know why. People are saying things, but we thought we'd get it straight from you."

Well, I appreciated that. Nothing beats gossip like going to the source. I told them that God wanted me to stay home and wait till He brought me the man He wanted me to marry.

"Well, we've got one for you."

Right away I knew who they were talking about--Tom. I smiled, shook my head, and said, "No, thanks. I don't think so."

Mr. Bill wasn't ready to give up yet. He said, "We're having a workday at the camp this Saturday. Tom will be there. Why don't you come and just look him over, and see what happens?"

Great, I thought. I had already planned to be there. Now the day would be ruined by these two people trying to set something up for us. I just knew they'd be watching us. ARRGGG!

The day came, and I managed to stay far enough away from the men so that I didn't even see Tom. Until lunch time. Mr. Bill's wife sent me out to tell the men lunch was ready. I walked into the area where they were working, and the first person I saw was Tom. Our eyes met as I told them lunch was ready. Then I tried to go back to being my normal self, but it was too late. Something had changed, and nothing would ever be the same. I was looking at a completely different Tom Newton than the one I had seen the year before.

He had grown a beard, he had a pleasant face, and I noticed his eyes were blue. I was hooked.

to be continued. . .

Name change

After several months of deliberation, I have decided to come out from hiding behind a screen name. From henceforth and forevermore, I will now be known in the blogworld as I am in the real world by my real name: Cathy.

"Pearl" came from my middle name, Margaret, which means "pearl." I chose to use an alias when I first started blogging because at that time I only knew two people who blogged, and that's what they did. I thought that's what all bloggers did. As time went on, however, I found that more of the bloggers that I knew used their real names. So I've decided that's what I'll do, also. I feel more honest that way, especially since I have been using my husband's and children's real names. I hate to have everyone think that Pastor Tom Newton of Calvary Baptist Church in Ontario is married to someone named "Pearl" when my real name is Cathy!

Signed,
Cathy

Summer, 1985 (Part Two)

I had just come home for the summer, after my first full year of college. I had learned by sad, sorry experience that there are guys who just want to use you, who don't know what "commitment" means, who just want a good time, and who dump you for no other reason than that they are done with you and want to move on. I was through "looking." I had never heard of the courtship ideals that are currently sweeping through today's youth culture, but I knew there had to be a better way.

I never really wanted to go to college. All the focus of my childhood dreams and aspirations centered on my longing to be a stay-at-home wife and mother. Those desires only intensified during my college years. I was in training for a career in teaching, when all I really wanted was to be the mistress of my own home, serving God along side a man whose one desire would be to serve God in full-time ministry. During my first three semesters of college, I tried--and was burned by--the dating scene. I decided that college, for me, was no place to find a husband. Granted, many good marriages have had their beginnings in some college or university, but that wasn't the way mine was going to start.

So one Sunday afternoon, there I sat on the floor of my bedroom, making a list of all the characteristics I was looking for in a husband. When I was finished, I put the spiral-bound steno pad away in a box and went for a walk. To this day I think I could tell you which hill I was climbing as I prayed, "Lord, I'm through looking for a husband. You bring to me the one You want me to have."

I continued to walk and pray until I reached the grounds of Camp Maranatha, the church camp in western Pennsylvania where I had spent all my summers from the time I was eleven years old, either as a camper or a kitchen worker. I loved that place! It was seven miles from my house, but I walked or rode my bike there often. On this particular Sunday afternoon, I walked into the caretakers' house to visit. The family living there were members of our church. They were from Ohio, and had a friend from Ohio visiting with them that afternoon. I walked into their living room, and the first person I saw was this friend of their's, named Tom Newton. Immediately, my first thought was, "No, Lord. Not him."

Tom Newton grew up in Ohio, in what he calls a totally pagan home. (I've told him he can't call it that anymore, since paganism today refers to a form of neo-witchcraft.) His was a family that not only knew not God, but were totally antagonistic toward even the idea of ever knowing God. The Newton name was well known in that area -- the whole lot of them were blasphemous drunkards and proud of it. Tom's chief goal in life was to be a rock star, so off he went to the WonderWorld of Los Angeles with dreams of making it big. He and his best friend aspired to be none other than the next Black Sabbath, with all their fame, fortune, and immorality.

You can read Tom's testimony here. God put a stop to all that, saved Tom out of all that muck and mire, set his feet upon the Rock of Christ, and established his goings. Now he was back in Ohio, co-owner of a Christian book store called "The Old-Time Gospel Bookstore," single, and longing for a wife. But there was something wrong here. God called upon him to do a certain thing which he determined never to do. Like Jonah of old, he turned from God and went in the opposite direction. He departed from the faith and wrote himself off as an infidel who had committed the unpardonable sin. Plunged into deep spiritual depression, he went through life hopelessly, wanting to die, yet being afraid to die.

You can't live that way very long without it showing on your countenance. Tom did not look good at all. This is what I somehow sensed when I saw him on my friends' couch that Sunday afternoon, and this is why I wanted nothing to do with him. Besides, he was too old--29, and I was 19.

So when I said, "No, Lord. Not him," I think He said, "Just you wait. I'm not finished with him yet. You go away for another year, and leave him to Me." Of course, God didn't say that out loud. I don't think I would have listened if He had. There were too many other fish in the sea.

Anyway, I went back to college that fall, and Tom went back to whatever. But he kept coming back to his friends' house, and attending my church, where my dad was the pastor. I was plodding impatiently along in college in Tennessee and later Indiana while my mom had Tom and his friends over for Sunday dinners. While I was struggling with pretending to be a good student when all I wanted was to get away from schooling altogether, my dad was patiently working with Tom, slowly bringing him out of his depression, never dreaming that he was counseling the man who would one day be the father of nine of his grandchildren.

More in the next post.

Cathy

20 years (Part One of My courtship and marriage)

Psalm 126

A Song of degrees.

When the LORD turned again the captivity of Zion,

we were like them that dream.

Then was our mouth filled with laughter,

and our tongue with singing:

then said they among the heathen,

The LORD hath done great things for them.

The LORD hath done great things for us;

whereof we are glad.

Turn again our captivity, O LORD,

as the streams in the south.

They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.

He that goeth forth and weepeth,

bearing precious seed,

shall doubtless come again with rejoicing,

bringing his sheaves with him.

Today is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. It is also my wedding anniversary. Tom and I were married on Thanksgiving Day, 1986. Since then we have completely ignored the actually date (which was November 27) and celebrated our anniversary on Thanksgiving Day. It is truly a day to give thanks to God for his unspeakable grace in our lives.

The Psalm above was read at our wedding. The week we were engaged, Pastor David Dickerson preached from this psalm at Maranatha, a Christian camp in western Pennsylvania where Tom and I met. Since then that Psalm has meant a lot to us. I'll explain why in the next post, when I tell you about events leading up to our courtship.

I'll also try to have some pictures from twenty years ago, as soon as I can find the box the photo albums are packed in. I had the children looking for it yesterday, but no one could find it. I was going to look for it myself today, but Tom just informed me that I am to pack my overnight bags; we are leaving as soon as he gets the van ready. I have no idea where we are going.

Pearl