Cor-Che-Me-Good: A Recipe

This was too good to keep. Servant's heart, part 3, coming tomorrow.

Take one pound (or so, I didn't actually weigh it) of Monterey Jack cheese that really needs used up today. Think about that for a minute to determine the best way to incorporate that into a meal. Remember that when the groceries came today, your husband left the hamburger out, at your request. Think a little more about how the cheese and the meat will go best into some sort of casserole that your family will love, if only because they're tired of the same-old-predictable-same-old that you've been serving. While you are thinking about all this, start a pan of clean dishwater so you can clean as you go.

Ask your 9 year-old-daughter to pull six green onions from the garden. While she's doing that, pour some (maybe about 2 tablespoons) olive oil into a small frying pan. Turn burner on low to heat the oil while you cut most of the stems off the onions (leave about six inches). Realize that you could have saved olive oil and frying pans by cooking the onion with the hamburger. Say "oh well" to yourself, and start browning the hamburger in the large frying pan.

Make sure that you are using the side of the cutting board marked "onions". Clean and slice the parts of the onions that you keep, putting the rest into the bucket for the pig. Stir the hamburger. After you've sliced four onions, look at the pile of slices. Realize that the green onions are getting bigger bulbs now, so you really didn't need six. Put the two remaining onions into a dish for your husband, who loves garden-fresh onions. Put the slices in the frying pan with the hot oil. When it all spatters and spits at you, realize that you have the burner too high and turn it down. Stir. Stir the hamburger.

Pull three cloves off a garlic bulb. Cut the the little bits off at the root ends and remove the papery covers. Stir the onions. Chop up the hamburger to make sure it's all in bits, with no big lumps. Look on the nice magnetic knife holder your friends gave you, for the chopping knife. Notice that it's not there. Glance into the dish drainer. When you don't find it there, say "oh well" to yourself and get a different knife. Chop each garlic clove into bits, pausing after each to stir the onions. After each clove has been chopped, gather all the bits into a pile and chop again. Scrape the whole pile into the frying pan with the onions and stir. Stir the hamburger.

Stir the onions and garlic again. Remember the book you read recently that said garlic does not need to cook very long, or it will start to not taste so good. Turn the burner off and set the frying pan to the back of the stove. Check to see that all the pink is out of the hamburger. Drain fat and juices into glass measuring cup. Not because you want to measure it, but because it was handy. Turn off hamburger burner and set that frying pan on the stove.

Wash all utensils, etc., that you've used so far. Wipe down all counter tops. Call in your 9 year-old-daughter and your 5 year-old-daughter. While they are coming in and washing their hands, melt 1/4 cup butter in stock pot. Measure 1/4 cup flour, and set it aside. Measure 2 cups of milk, and set it aside. When the butter is melted, use the wire whippy to stir in the flour. Slowly add milk, stirring all the time. Occasionally set the milk down and give the mixture a good, thorough stirring, to make sure no lumps are happening.

By the time the milk is all poured and stirred in, the girls should have their hands washed. Have them start making a salad. While they are working, monitor their conversation to make sure it is characterized by peace, love and joy. Correct any speech that does not qualify. Note that this time, most of it does qualify. Smile about that.

Meanwhile, unwrap the cheese and slice it into the milk mixture, stirring till melted and smooth after every 5-6 slices. Be thankful for the cheese slicer: it works much nicer than a knife for this kind of cheese. Try not to remember that you were irritated with your husband for "wasting" money on it, when a knife would work just as well. While you are slicing the cheese, your daughters will crowd around and say, "Mmmm. Looks good. What is it?" Instead of doing the "Food" - "What kind of food?" - "Yummy food" bit that you usually do, confess the truth: you don't have a name for it because you're making it up as you go along. Announce that there will be a contest at dinner to see who can come up with a name for it. Remind your daughters that they are supposed to be making a salad.

After the cheese sauce is done, turn that burner off. Stir in the hamburger, then the onions and garlic. Get an inspiration, and stir in two cups of frozen corn. Wash all utensils, etc., that are dirty, and wipe all counter tops. Notice that the dish drainer is getting full. Draft 9 year-old-daughter to dry and put away. Show 5 year-old-daughter how to cut the "trees" of broccoli off the "trunk" to add to the salad. Be thankful that she has learned to use the sharp knife safely and is being such a big help. Tell her that she is being a big help.

Grease two 13X9 glass pans with butter. Portion the hamburger stuff evenly between the two and smooth it all out. Do the washing up routine again. Get the cookbook out and open it up to the drop biscuits recipe. See what temperature to set the oven for, and do that. Look for the big white mixing bowl. Realize that the girls are using it for the salad. Look for the other big white mixing bowl, being thankful that you have two. When you don't find it, ask the girls if they know where it is. 9 year-old-daughter will tell you that it's in the refrigerator. Ask what's in it. When she says, "Salad. Lots of salad," say, "oh, boy." Look at that salad. Notice that there are white wisps of cottony-looking mold growing on it. Wonder to yourself, "When was the last time we had salad?" Don't bother answering the question because it doesn't matter. You were gone all day yesterday, and before that you don't remember because everybody's been sick--again. Decide not to think about that.

Send the moldy salad out with 9 year-old-daughter to give to the pig. Be thankful that you have a pig, the pig you hadn't wanted because your neighbours went ahead and got it for you without asking, and you had to get your family scrambling to build it a pen for it right in the middle of the Saturday night bath routine, and it got loose early the next morning (which was a Sunday), and set the dogs to barking at 4:30 AM, which woke up your visiting parents, but you didn't know why the dogs were barking until several hours later, and everybody had to go out and chase the pig back into the pen when they should have been eating Sunday breakfast and getting ready for church, and somebody had to wake up those neighbours because their pig was loose too, and....... Decide not to think about that anymore, either.

When the bowl comes back, wash it, and mix up a double batch of drop biscuits. Spoon the dough onto the top of the hamburger mixture, portioning it so there are exactly 12 relatively evenly spaced blobs of dough on each panful. When there is one blob left over, break it up into bits and add them to the other blobs. Open the oven to put the pans in. Notice that you forgot to move the oven rack back to the middle after baking bread earlier. Move it now. Put pans in the oven and set the timer.

Now 9 year-old-daughter will tell you that the baby is crying. Call 16 year-old-daughter in to do the rest of the washing up. Just as she gets there, notice that the baby has stopped crying. Decide not to pick him up just now, but help the younger girls with the table setting, instead. As soon as everything is ready, call everyone to dinner.

As all the children gather around, listen to them exclaim about how good it smells, and what is it, and how good it looks, and can I have two helpings please, etc. Announce about the naming contest. Serve everybody their portions.

During dinner, 9 year-old-daughter will announce the name of this new recipe. Remind her that there will be a vote. She will ignore you, and explain how the recipe got its name.

Cor for corn
Che for cheese
Me for meat
Good because it's really good

Cor-Che-Me-Good.

Only at our house.