Saturday, June 14, 2008

In a foggy place

My mind has been in a fog for about a couple of months. I have been forgetting things a lot, and am not able to think clearly. I will ask a child to do something, and right away forget that I asked that, and ask the same child to do something else. I will start to say something, and suddenly I can't think what it was I wanted to say. I told Sarah she could go home with a friend after church one Sunday night, then later I wondered where she was. I could not recall giving her permission, even though they tried to help me remember by telling me the circumstances and what we talked about.

Tom says I've not been getting enough sleep. I don't know. I go to bed no later than ten, and lately I think I've been sleeping pretty well. Samuel has been sleeping all night, anywhere from 8 to 11 hours. During the day I lie down with him when he needs nursed, and sometimes doze off. I did go through about a week or so of not being able to sleep, no matter how hard I tried. But that hasn't been the case lately.

It is hard for me to stay focused. If I am interrupted while writing, I have to read the whole paragraph, sometimes the whole blog post over again to try to remember what I was writing. Sometimes I totally lose my thought and end up deleting the half sentence I just wrote because I have no idea what I was trying to say. That is why I haven't been blogging lately.

I have not gotten the garden finished yet. I just can't keep my mind on it. I go out to do some planting, and find I can't think what I am supposed to do. Same for a lot of other chores, like laundry or sewing or cleaning.

I've got my children worried. Last night Elijah asked if Alzheimer's runs in the family. And Sarah remembered reading about a woman who began to be easily confused, especially about where she was, when she was younger than I am. I am 42.

I don't know what the problem is, but I ask you to pray for me. I don't think I have anything major on my conscience. Fellowship with the Lord has been sweet lately. I do think I am too busy. I am gone from home a lot, but haven't been able to help it. It's all been necessary, mostly related either to ministry or shopping I absolutely had to do. I did mark on my calendar all the days I want to STAY HOME for the rest of this month.


Caleb Bohon said...

I wounder if it could be from your mold problem.

Cathy said...

I don't know. I hadn't thought of that.

Melissa said...

Are you actually forgetting things you have committed to memory or simply not getting the things in your memory to start with??? I notice that if I am not truly focused, I don't get the information into my brain to begin with.

You can try some Ginko, it is supposed to help with memory. Maybe carry a notepad to jolt your memory. You will be in my prayers.

Tami said...

Oh Cathy!

I can so sympathize with your situation. After the birth of my last child (I was 35), I suffered the same exact thing you described. I felt like someone kept shaking up my brain and I constantly had to start over to just get simple things done!! It was maddening... and frustrating...and embarrassing! My children and DH were very concerned about me!! I know that I wasn't able to say hardly anything without something coming out jumbled or missing information or the wrong words (put the clothes in the freezer please!) When I asked the Dr. about it, she blamed hormones and said it would clear up. It eventually did (about 8-10 months later) but we refer to that time as my "jumbled brain" time.... I am just glad the fog cleared and I am able to think and talk coherently again!

I will pray for you.

Cathy said...

Tami, thank you so much for commenting! You have given me hope! Sarah laughed about the clothes in the freezer. That is just like what I would say. I often tell the children they need to get ready for bed when it's Sunday morning and they need to get ready for church.

Melissa said...

Cathy, I never can get the laundry room or the furnace room straight! My kids now know to ask me again if I am sure about the room I am sending them to for something. Distraction!!!!

prudence said...

Forgetting and fluff brain can also be a part of I'm told. Again hormone changes.

I don't trust myself reading a book someone has suggested to me because I won't be able to tell the person much about the book without some cues from the other person.

Cathy said...

Prudence--HUH??? I don't understand the book comment.